Things We Aren't Supposed To Talk About

Good morning, cadres fear. Happy 4 July. It is Shannon coming to you live on Caregiver day. Happy 4 July. This is a day when I think most of us are resting, vacationing, spending time with families. And so I hope you get to do that today. I'm a couple minutes early today, which I never am, because I'm actually headed to the gym. And as I'm talking to you, I realized today at the gym is red, white and blue workout day. Who knows what that even means? But. Hello, red hat, white shirt, blue eyes. So there it is.

I'm taking it. I just realized it. Okay, so, for those of you who haven't met me before, my name is Shannon. I am not a clinician. I am not a mental health professional. I am a human with lived experience with anxiety, with CPTSD, and with. I'm a caregiver for my son with autism. And so that is why I'm here today on Caregiver day, because that's part of one of the roles I have in my life. So today, I'm more prepared than normal in a great way. And my thought for today is for us as caregivers to help remember to see our people as people.

Good morning. Speak wonder eri pa baby. There you are. Jules. Good morning. Happy 4 July. I'm so glad you guys are here. Okay, so what does it mean as caregivers? To see our people as people? It sounds really simple, and it is in some regard. And honestly, this application can be for any relationship in life. But I think, as caregivers, I'll speak for myself. There are times when the care that I give feels like a chore. And I know that's. This is why. This is things we're not supposed to talk about, right?

Because we're not always supposed to say that, because we love the person we care for. But there are times in my life where my 15 year old son and the work that is required really feels like a chore. My kids are home from spring break right now. They're in my home all day long as I work from home. And it's a lot, right? It's not spring break, summer break. And so there are times where the chore of caring for my son makes me. Makes it hard for me to see his whole self. And that's not fair to him.

Right? It's also. Yeah, it's not fair to him. But I can get so into the work of caring for him. The work of. It's time to put on your clothes. Put on your shirt. Do this do that, all the things that require, the nudges and the time and the effort, and I think I can get so sort of the aperture, my lens, the view of him, becomes really focused on the tasks that I need him to do. And so I've noticed with myself, and again, especially over summer break, I can lose the sight of him as a human. And I think as caregivers, it's important for us to notice that.

And I can tell you that as someone who's been in therapy for years, I don't think I would have been able to sort of make that distinction between his wholeness needing to be seen and also allowing space for my wholeness to be seen. I don't know if I would have been able to make that distinction before. So I'm grateful for the therapy that I've learned and the skills that I've learned to say, to be able to separate and say, he is a whole human, and I am a whole human. Together, we have to do these things, because that's what it means to be a human in the world.

We have to get dressed. We have to be places, we have to do things on time. We have to be out in the world. It requires both of us to be in that, to make it happen. So my thought for us today is, if you ever have that experience where you start to lose yourself and lose that other person in your caregiving, where you start to get that narrow aperture of the task focused only view, just to remind ourselves, like, hey, my son is a beautiful 15 year old kid who is funny and smart and loves Zendaya, and he has a million things to add to the world.

And this is a tiny part of his life, too. Getting his shirt on and his pants on and getting out the door in time. Is it important? Yes. Are all the other parts of him more important? Yes, they are. So I'm self talking myself right now on this live to remind myself that, and then also remind myself that being a caregiver is one part of me, or I have a bunch of other parts. And so I just. I hope that resonates with you. If you ever feel like you're starting to get a small lens, if you're starting to get, like, a tight, you know, if you're starting to feel like this, to take a breath and remember that it's a small part of you, it's a small part of them, and you can get through the task together, and the world's not gonna fall apart if you're late.

Listen, I'm late 80% of the time. Five minutes max, right? Does the world fall apart? It doesn't. So that's what I wish for you today. We have a beautiful rest of the day coming up. Miss Shannon, Paula's here. I think we have a little bit of a light schedule because of the fourth, which is fantastic. Right? So I hope that you all enjoy this day. Thank you. Speak wonder. Thank you, Jules. Thank you, Colleen, for being here. You guys were rocking it as caregivers and as humans. And I'm so glad that you're part of this community here in the cadres fair.

So we will see you soon and have a beautiful, beautiful day.