Family Ties

Well, hey there, everybody. Happy Thursday in the Cadre sphere. If you've been tuning in today and if you've been tuning into Cadre for a while, you know, on Thursdays, we talk about that seat that sometimes we sit in. In life of being a caregiver, I am. I'll consider myself lucky to be in the early stages of the journey of, of caregiving for my parents. They're both still wonderfully independent in a lot of ways, and I have those opportunities. Seth, how are you, my friend? Oh, my gosh. If you've never tuned in before, if you have, you know that I, anytime someone signs on that I, that I recognize or even if I don't recognize, I can't help but be excited to go ahead and see, see my friends and those people I don't know yet.

I, that's what I call strangers. I can't help but be excited to see them. If you have not checked out my friend Seth Perry on Sundays, do so. Seth has a great live stream removing the stigma around a lot of things. But often the things that we are carrying only exponentially get heavier to carry when they have that residue of stigma attached to them. So check out Seth on the weekends. So I have the opportunity to wrap up Caregiver day. And if you saw the title of the livestream, it says family ties.

If you're an old millennial like me, family ties is a television show from the late eighties. But if we think about what the term means, family ties, those ties that bind us to our people, whether they are chosen people. Steph, how are you, my friend? Nice to see you, steph, by golly, earlier on today. And you can go ahead and watch back. Seth kicks off Caregiver day in the mornings right here in the Cadre sphere. Those ties that bind us to our people, they are strong. They can cause stress and friction.

They can wear on us. But so often those ties that bind us to our family, chosen or biological, teach us a lot. So that's what we talk about here, that wonderful mix between our stories and the stories that often bring us together that are worthy sometimes of situational comedy, television. Let me tell you a little story. So, as I mentioned, right, I am the caregiver of my parents. One is a baby boomer. One is the greatest generation. I'm a millennial, and then I have six gen x siblings. So a lot of different perspectives on all the things.

Well, my niece and her partner were in town in Minneapolis, where I live last week, and I drove my niece, her partner and my parents to Minneapolis. My parents live in a suburb, Brooklyn center, to go see a twins game downtown. Now, there's a lot of potential different perspectives in that conversation, right? Minneapolis is one of my favorite places. I love this city. I love downtown. But as we know, depending on where you are on a political spectrum, downtown or urban centers are scary or bad or an unknown place.

And then we. We have my niece, who is mid twenties, lives in New York City with her partner. And gosh, all the different perspectives that existed in that minivan. And it was exactly what you think it would be. Moments where people had to listen and take it. People had to give grace and forgiveness. People got loud and shouty for moments. We had an outsider and my niece's partner, who is newer to understanding our family, like any family, well, as the person who attempts to caretake. There are times where I wanted to control more than I could control.

And I think that's the reminder that I want to share with all of you who are the caregiver out there. You can, within the same moment, go, I want to control this situation and also go, I can't control this situation. What's the resolution to that? Knowing that time will continue on, the moment will pass. The high and the low will work themselves into the future. Not necessarily work themselves out, but they will happen. At the end of the day, the Minnesota Twins won the baseball game. There were some wonderful photos taken, some wonderful memories had.

And I remember walking away from my dad to go get some mini donuts and not be next to him for a little bit. I remember moments of looking at my niece and her partner go, this is why we live in New York City. I saw moments where we all laughed and where we cheered and where we sang take me out to the ball game. And there were a couple home runs, and we gave each other high fives. At the end of that night, I reminded that I need to give myself a break. I need to not take myself so seriously sometimes.

But even in those moments, I have to acknowledge that what I'm feeling is an affirmation of the responsibility that I take on as the caregiver. Think about the roles in which you are caregiver and the things that you go through. I think about my buddy Seth here so often. We want to go, what's the right way to do this? Or I need to do this in the way that someone else perceives them supposed to do this. One of the things is we need to know that what we are feeling and responding to are normally rooted within our history, within our love within our relationships, our family, and the roles that we take on.

When we remember that there's a little bit more grace, a little bit more understanding, and a wonderful affirmation that we are good at getting through hard stuff. So, everybody, no matter where you are today, whether you're sitting in a car like I am, in between place a and place b, whether it's the beginning of your day, the end of your day, a good day, a bad day, wherever you are, you're doing the thing. And the Cadre sphere is always here. Right. For you. Have a good one, everybody. We'll talk to you later.