Things We Aren't Supposed To Talk About

Good morning. It is Shannon. Hello. Happy caregiver day on cadre. I just got done with my run as you can very visibly see by all the sweat on my face. But I just went ahead and decided to go with a run before my live so that I could get my calm, my calm vibe started. So that is why I look like this today. But good morning. Good morning, everyone. Okay, so for those of you who have not met me, my name is Shannon. I am not a clinician. I'm not a mental health professional. I am a human who is a caregiver for a son with autism who is 15 years old.

So good morning to all of you. I'm going to share today a story and I'm on a bit of a runner's high. So you're going to get the the runner's high version, which might be interesting. I'm not sure. So I'm going to share a story today about the beautiful minds of the people that we love with autism and other neuro divergence. And how I'm just going to give a full circle account here. Good morning, Anilah. Okay, so here's my full circle account. My brother's dog passed away recently. And so my brother lives in Portland, Oregon.

He has two girls. He has a dog. He had a dog named McGee. McGee was 18 years old. So had a great life, right? And my brother living in Portland, I'm in Minneapolis. And so we would go out and see them frequently, probably like, well, once a year. So my 15 year old son has seen McGee, you know, 15 years in his life or I'm sorry, 15 times in his life, probably. But McGee passed away. And then one day, my son came in to my room, and he said, Mom, can we talk? Which for a 15 year old boy, if any of you have those in your life, you know, I mean, that's like an anomaly for them to want to talk to you.

He's like, Mom, can we talk? And he said, I'm really sad about McGee. And I was like, yeah, that's, you know, it is really sad. And he's like, you really meant a lot to me. And I said, yeah, I understand. And he said, I'd like to write a journal about it. Can we do that together? And if you want me to be honest, I was in the middle of dinner, I was making dinner, I was like in all the evening things that you do when you have kids in a family. And I said, take a breath. Yeah, sure, let's do that.

Let's write a journal to McGee. And so we sat down at the table together. And honestly, when I first sat down, I was kind of, you know, I was like, I was in go mode. And so I had to sort of like say, chill out Shannon and be in this moment with your son. And he started to write. And the beautiful thing about my son is he's incredibly articulate. He knows all these words. He's he's amazing. But when he writes his five motor skills are still, you know, developmentally delayed. And so his writing can look really innocent.

And if you have a child who writes at seven or eight years old, that's sort of what his writing looks like. And he starts telling the story of how he was really sad about McGee passing. And he's like, McGee's life came to an end. When I heard the news, I was very upset. So he goes on this beautiful thing. And then he stopped and he said, okay, I'm done, I'm done. And I said, okay, buddy, we took 15 minutes and we sat down and we did this thing. And why I'm telling you the story, as I remember in the moment watching him and thinking the depth of his care and love for this thing, this dog who we all, you know, dogs are amazing.

I have a dog, I love him deeply. But my son had met McGee 15 times total, maybe in his life. And yet he had this deep, deep connection to this dog. And as I watched him write this journal, I was like, this kid is so amazingly full of love. And so it took me out of that like rush mode that I was in of getting things done and pushing and hurrying and all the things to sit with my dog or my son to sit with my son as we wrote a journal to this dog. And I took a picture and I shared it with my brother, who loved it.

And it meant everything. And I'm going to bring it first full circle. And I apologize, you're definitely getting the the the runner's high version of this story. Is that when I run, I do the same path every day. And there's a sky that used to sit in his yard. And I would pass him. And he was like clearly retired in his 70s. And he was just sitting out there soaking up the sun. And we would wave at each other. And then I don't know, two years ago, he said like, Hey, my name's Bill. You'll remember it because they come in the mail at the end of every month.

And I was like, Hey, Bill. And so I said, I've got it. So Bill and I would wave at each other every day for a few years. And I noticed that Bill wasn't sitting out there anymore in the last month. And last week I stopped and I said to the neighbor, hey, do you know where Bill is? And he said, Bill actually passed away about a month ago. And I said, Oh my God, I said, I didn't know him well, but we just waved at each other every day. And it hit me, right? I don't know why it hit me like, I kept going on my run.

But I was really sad. And I just passed Bill's house this morning. And I and I was like, this thing that my life is, you know, this thing that I did know him, but it was just this beautiful thing we had every day. It's gone. And I got back home and Wyatt said my son. My my son said, what's wrong, mom? I said, why, you know what? I said, I there was this guy that I used to wave at this neighbor every day. His name is Bill. And he died. And I said, I don't know why it just hit me in the stomach, you know?

And he looked at me and he said, Mom, I know how you feel. I feel the same way about Mickey. So it was just this beautiful story. It was a full circle story. And I that's where I'm at. I'm sure I'm sharing it because I just got home from my run. And I ran by Bill's house and he wasn't there. And I did have a little egg inside. And so I guess the beautiful thing I want to say today about neuro divergence, my son's brain. And I guess maybe my brain is that we're able to connect in the little moments of love that we have, even if it's someone we see, where all I know is his name is Bill and I wave.

And even if it's Mickey, who is a, you know, once once a year thing for my son. So I don't know, it's just a beautiful thing. And that's where I met. And thank you all for being here. I see runners high version.