Coffee Chats w/ Dr. D

Hey, Cadre, what's going on? It's me, Dr. D. And my coffee. Let me get a sip. Hold on. That's so good. It's a fresh cup. And it's perfect because it's cold where I am now. It's starting to rain. It's been raining since yesterday, so hopefully we won't have any floods like we did last time a few months ago. But I am really excited today. It's election day, so happy election day to everyone. And whether or not you voted, that's your personal choice. I did vote today, and I am just glad to exercise my right to vote for a couple reasons.

One, because I'm black too, because I'm a woman. And so just combine. Because I'm a black woman. And I think that is a powerful tool that I have as an American where I get a chance to exercise that. So I'm grateful for the opportunity, especially knowing how my ancestors had to fight for that right. Women and black Americans. So I am honored to be able to do that. So if you have not been able to get out there, there's still time. Go out there and get your vote on today. But I am tuning in today from the St.

Louis area, but I'm actually in Illinois, So it's like 20 minutes from downtown St. Louis. We're crossing the bridge to get to where I'm at. And so as you are joining, I do want to check in with everyone. This is a new month. It's November. So welcome. If you can just let me know, even if you're catching the replay, let me know where you're located in the comment section. And if there's anything that you hear that I said that is kind of touching your heart throughout the message, just drop a coffee mug, the little emoji of the coffee, or you can hit the heart button.

But yeah. So today, I hope you all can see it's probably backwards to you. For those of you who don't know. So I am a licensed clinical professional counselor, and I also practice jiu jitsu. So if there are any other martial artists out there, welcome. Hello. So this is my new design for Kimoras. It's my favorite submission, but I want to highlight something that came up in a session with one of my clients, and it was somewhat related to the election. There's a lot of election anxiety. Not about.

I mean, I think maybe about the election itself. Hi, Luke. But just how this particular election is impacting so many people in different ways, and it's really what I'm hearing in sessions as a therapist, that it is pulling people apart. It is highlighting some things, you know, personal beliefs that are maybe troubling or that one person may not have the same beliefs as the rest of their family. And so there's. There's been some disconnection happening, you know, because of this election. And it's unfortunate.

I think it's maybe uncomfortable. I think we're taught, which I never understood this, but there are some things in life that we're just taught that you should not talk about with anyone, not even your own family. So, like, there's this idea, and I don't know if this belongs to you, if you guys subscribe to this, but there's an idea that we shouldn't talk about our. Like, who we're voting for or our beliefs, you know, politically or religiously, even in our own families. And I don't know about y'all.

I just think that's silly. I think we should just talk about what's on our hearts. Because sometimes when we share our beliefs and what we feel or the way we think about a situation, it's not. You know, I think it depends on how you're sharing it. But when we share that information and our personal beliefs, it can impact the other person and maybe get them to think differently or to maybe understand us differently. But also it can help us, you know, get some feedback from someone else to see, well, what is your belief and why do you believe that?

To maybe question and maybe even affirm our own beliefs. So I. I'm totally opposed to not sharing what you believe when it comes to politics and maybe even religious ideas. I think that's how we grow and we learn from each other. But for those who are not comfortable, totally understand that. No big deal. But getting back to what our topic is for the day, Our topic is about being a black sheep. Now, let me tell you why this is coming up. I had a client last week who was sharing some of their concerns about the election.

And we were talking, and I had this image in my mind about my client. And I help them to recognize that they actually feel like the black sheep in their family. And there are times when we might be called the black sheep, we might be pushed into being the black sheep, even though that's not something we choose. And I think this shows up not just in families. It happens in different pockets of community. It can happen with co workers. It can happen with sports, sports groups, family and other types of, like, groups of communities.

And I would say I'm probably a black Sheep not gonna lie. I am known to say things that a lot of people are thinking, but nobody wants to say. And because I'm vocal about those things, people look at me like, what's wrong with you? Why would you say that? And I'm just saying what everybody else is thinking, but I'm the person that gets the flack for it. So if you resonate with that, if you feel like you're the black sheep in whatever community you're thinking of, just know that you're not alone.

Because I think that's what happens with people who are considered black sheeps is there's this isolation from whatever group they're in. So I want to share. It's interesting how all this came up. I was actually doing my things, scrolling through Instagram. I don't get on TikTok, but it's the same videos. And there is a video that I saw of an elephant, and I think it was at a zoo. I don't know which zoo it was, but this elephant was being shunned by its family members, and you could physically see it happening.

So this elephant was different. You could tell he's just doing his own thing. You know, he, like, jumped into the water where the rest of the elephants are, like, looking at him. Why are you in the water? No one else is doing that. And there was also another part of the video where this elephant was literally being pushed, like, nudged like this by one of their family members. And the zoo had to decide what to do with this elephant. You know, those who are considered black sheeps were often pushed to the side.

We are seen as different, and because of our differences, because we don't necessarily fit in, we are isolated. Right. And sometimes we isolate ourselves. That could be a choice that we make. But this particular elephant was being pushed out. And so the zoo made the choice, the decision to separate this particular elephant to keep it safe. Nothing wrong with that. But what happened after that was this elephant actually had space to be itself, and it started painting. And I thought that was so cool to see this elephant literally making masterpieces.

It was beautiful. But to see that this was a gift that this elephant had, and because it was different, the family didn't accept it. So I want you to consider times where that might have been your story, where you were different from your friends or different from your family members, and you weren't doing anything wrong or completely unacceptable just wasn't something that your family agreed with. And because of that, you were shunned. And how does that impact us as individuals? You know, sometimes we can be the black sheep and we can, you know, that can impact our self esteem in a negative way.

Maybe we start to think there is something wrong with us. Why is it that everyone's leaving us or separating themselves from us? We might even start to think, well, maybe I do need to change. Maybe I just need to be like everyone else. And I don't agree with that. I think if you're considered a black sheep, you're different for a reason. And my challenge to you is to consider how are you actually being a light. So even though being called the black sheep, it sounds so dark and gloomy and wrong and evil, but I see it differently.

I see it as an opportunity that there's so much light within you that because of your light you're shining light on the darkness in the other people around you. And people don't like that and they're uncomfortable because you're actually maybe showing them things that they need to see within themselves that they're not ready to see. So my encouragement to you if you feel like you're the black sheep, is to keep shining your light. Don't hide, don't worry about being separated. Sometimes we are called to be separate because we are different.

And if we are part of the group, what's good, what's inside of us can be stifled. So it's okay if you're different. It's okay if you need to pull away and isolate at times for the good. Now if you're isolating because you're depressed or you are starting to feel lonely, that's a different story. We're not talking about that type of isolation. We're talking about isolation to cultivate the gifts that you have inside of yourself. So that's all I got for the day. But I hope you guys are having a wonderful day.

Go out and vote and please share some of your insight. If this has been your experience or if you know someone, maybe you can see their experience a little different. But I hope you all have a wonderful day. Talk to you later. Bye.