Sunday Serenity

Good evening and happy Sunday to everybody in the Cadre sphere. Jason Lennox here. Happy to be with you Sunday evening, the first day of December, believe it or not. It's hard to believe, but again, Jason Lennox, and I am your resident recovery champion. And what that means is I'm here to talk about all things recovery from substances, mental health, and just everything that comes with life. I'm happy to be here again after a long weekend. I hope you all had time to be with family and friends and your loved ones this evening.

This weekend, I should say. Good evening, Jules. Good to see you here. But yeah, it's one of the things that Thanksgiving does for me. And one of the things I want to talk about is just it helps me reflect on all the things I have to be grateful for. And, you know, there are plenty. But I think at the end of the day, for people who are in recovery, there's a big difference. Hey, good evening, Sherry. A big difference between things that we're grateful for. And mainly I'm speaking about materially versus kind of spiritually, relationally.

And so just want to talk a little bit this evening about a couple things that I think are so much more valuable than the rest when it comes to things that I look for. And yes, same to you, Sherry. I know you lost someone this weekend, too. So again, heartfelt sorry there. But speaking of relationships and people, two things I think that are more valuable than anything are experiences and relationships. And I shared a little bit about this on social media. But relationships and experiences, I will take those every day I'd shared.

I also had a birthday over the weekend and I've never really been a big fan of gifts. Maybe as a child I was, but especially as I've gotten older and into my recovery, it's really, unless it's got a practical use or hold sentimental value, it's probably not going to last in my house. That's what I like to say. And what I really appreciate are experiences and relationships. And for my birthday, I don't really need that because I feel like I have that throughout most of the year. And, you know, it's easy.

I think especially again, as people who struggle with addictions to substances, it's easy to have that crossover into money, into things, into kind of the fame, the fortune. And really, like, we just end up shopping too much or we end up buying too much of this. Spends too much time on Amazon. Thanks, Jules. Thank you very much. But it was again, for me about relationships and experiences and less about the materialistic items. And there's actually a. It's a commencement speech, I believe, that Denzel Washington gives with one of the greatest lines that he's ever had.

Everybody knows Denzel as an incredible actor as he is. I mean, I don't know if I've ever seen a Denzel movie that I haven't thoroughly enjoyed. He is one of my favorites by far, but he's also an incredible speaker. And so he gives these commencement speeches. And one of them he gave, I think it was in Pennsylvania, Philadelphia maybe. He said a line that is just one of the greatest one liners of all time. And he said, you'll never see a U haul behind a hearse. And I just thought, oh gosh, it hits so hard to think about it that way.

You'll never see a U haul behind a hearse. All the stuff that we accumulate here, you can't take it with you, essentially, what he says. And I absolutely love it, like I said, experiences and relationships on the other hand, and it's a kind of the double whammy and just the gold standard to be able to have those two together make a real difference. Let me illustrate how I've lived in four apartments now since I've been in recovery in 14 years. I've been in this one for two and a half years. I was at another one for a couple years, another one for seven, and another one for a couple, a few years maybe.

And while I had good times in all of them, I've never thought back to, gosh, I wish I could be back in one of those apartments. You know, I've had a few cars in my recovery and I've never thought back and gone. Gosh, I dismiss that car so much that it's just causing deep sadness for me today. The clothes, I mean, I'm almost always happy to get rid of clothes. And again, I've developed a kind of a minimalistic attitude towards some of these material items, which is a little easier being a single person living alone, kids grown.

But nonetheless, that's the way I look at it. And I think it probably could be the way for so many of us. I am not going to look back in my life and go, dang it, remember how great it was to have that one car, to live in that one apartment, or to have that one shirt that I had to get rid of. I'm not going to long for any of those things. But after this weekend, I get to spend Thanksgiving Thursday with my family. We do the turkey trot and we get together and spend the rest of the day Together and I get to spend.

I was there at my great uncle's until 9, 9:30pm and spending quality time with just him and my great aunt. And they're getting a little bit older, so it was really valuable time spent. And then Friday birthday, got to go put up the tree like I do every year at Ma's place. And Saturday breakfast with mom and to another family's place, we decorated, did some Christmas tree, all the other things. Got to hang out with people, play some cards. So any several days of that and then it's like Sunday and it's kind of like the emotional hangover of it all.

Maybe some of it's food hangover, I don't know. But the emotional hangover of having all that time and looking forward to it, anticipating it, getting ready for it, just knowing that it's going to be a great weekend. And then it comes and it goes and I look back and I long for more of that. It creates a level of sadness in me. And I shared about this once before. I think if not I wrote about it for sure that sadness is really a worthy outcome because it means that there is something to be sad about, missing out on.

Right. I got to experience a few days and I get to do this all the time with family, where by the end of it, I'm sad that it's ending. And that really is an outcome to strive for in my life. And again, that's experiences and it just happens to be relationship at the same time. I get to do these things and spend time with family and have the experiences with the family, which is just phenomenal. And again, why I think this is so applicable and so critical, you know, within the space of recovery and the things that we're trying to do to better ourselves is it's easy to get caught up in the materialistic nature of this world and try to want the biggest and the best and the next.

And, you know, I've gone so many different directions in my career and, you know, could probably be living in some big fancy house and have the newest cars every year, and it's just not really my interest. I choose to, you know, create experiences and memories with my finances and spend time with family and bring family together. And that's something that again, I will always long for. I'll wrap up with a woman. Her name is Bronnie Ware, and she wrote a book, I think, the Five Regrets of Dying or something.

Five Biggest Regrets. Very interesting. If you look at what this woman writes about, almost all the things that she writes about like, people regret are just things that they didn't do. Not things that they did that they wish they wouldn't have done, but things that they didn't do that they wish they had. And again, like, I go back to these relationships, these experiences. Those are the kinds of things that show up. People wish they had just taken a little more effort and put it into this relationship or just gone to see a little more of this part of the world or had this experience or gotten over this and just kind of repaired that relationship.

So many of the things that people regret again on the deathbed have nothing to do with the cars, with the houses, with the clothes, with the money, with the latest coats, with all the material. I can't even keep up with the material things because I don't spend a lot of time on them. So I'm missing a ton, I'm sure. But all of those things are not what people are thinking about when it's time to end this world they're thinking about. Dang it, sister should have done a little more to spend time with her mom.

Wish I could have done more to help her cousin. Wish I wouldn't have gotten mad and just let that relationship fall to nothing. And, you know, I just. I know that regret for me early in recovery almost brought me back to substances. It really did. And it actually almost killed me before I even could find recovery. I had so much regret. There was so many things I wish I wouldn't have done, so many relationships I wish I wouldn't have ruined. And it can be a killer. And again, I think there's so much value in focusing very intentionally on relationships and experiences.

And again, I'll scream those two from the rooftop probably until the day I die. The relationships and experiences are what matter most. Those are the things that we remember forever. We talk about every year when we go to. To Thanksgiving, for example, or any weekends that we get to spend together. The family's always talking about the fun experiences and those memories that literally have nothing to do with, you know, any of the material things that we see in this world. So I think it's very important.

I just wanted to touch on that because it's been heavy on my heart at least the last four or five days just thinking about exactly that. Experiences, relationships. Why? As I've gotten older, if I could have anything, if people were going to gift something to me, it would be those two things. But again, fortunately, I have and create those all year long so I don't have to wait for a birthday to do that. But I'm incredibly grateful. And of course, I know that materially, like finances. And sometimes we have to have some of that to be able to create the experiences and to be able to see people and develop those relationships.

But again, we all kind of choose our paths and wherever we end up and whatever we end up spending our money on is what we end up spending it on. And I've just learned over time that people and experiences will be at the top of that list for me. So grateful that you've all hung in here. And again, I hope you can take some of that and think about how it applies in your lives. And, you know, I know it seems like living in the future a little bit, but I'd highly recommend thinking about and creating the anticipation and the energy around.

What are you going to do next? Where are you going to go next? What's that experience? That's what I'm going to do. I always have one of those to kind of look forward to, to plan, and it just, you know, keeps me excited about creating more of those memories. So grateful to be here with you all. Hope you all have a wonderful rest of your evening and that you're staying warm. If you're in Minnesota, it's freezing here. 10 degrees out, maybe. It looks like it's going to warm up a little for the next few days, but stay warm this week.

The cold is finding its way here and I don't think it's going anywhere for a few months. We'll have to get used to it. But enjoy your weeks, have great ones, and we'll talk to you again next Sunday. Thanks, everyone. Have a good one.