Sunday Serenity

Good. Good evening and happy Sunday to everyone here in the Cadre sphere. My name is Jason Lennox. I'll let a few of you join here and we'll get going. But this is Sunday Serenity coming to you Sunday night from the cold state of Minnesota. A little bit warmer than we have been this past week, up in the mid-20s, so doing a little bit better. But again, my name is Jason Lennox and my role on Cadre is I'm what I like to say is your resident recovery champion. And what that means is I'm here to talk about everything related to recovery which includes mental health and well being and you know, this series is entitled Sunday Serenity.

Good evening Jules. Sunday Serenity Because I think serenity is one of the most critical components that leads to long term recovery. And why do I think that? Because I know for me personally and for so many others that I know that so much of my life was in chaos and just wasn't working and I was seeking out the chemicals, the drugs and the alcohol because I just did not have any peace in my life. It was one thing after another that I was really trying to fight and trying to fill the void and do all the things.

So what I learned is when I found serenity, they have in the recovery rooms what they call the serenity prayer. When I found that serenity and I could actually sit and be and exist. I know when I'm in that state I'm not really seeking things a whole outside. So that's Sunday Serenity. It's good to see you here too, Luke. Happy Sunday to you my friend Kathy. Speak wonder. Good to see you as always. So I want to start this and I threw a community post out there. If you're not familiar with that, when you log in you open the app on the upper left hand corner you'll see a little dropdown of sorts menu and if you click on the substance use community that will drive you there and you'll see posts there.

Hey, good evening Sherry, it's good to see you. You'll see different posts there and I try to get in there every other day or so and drop something in, something that provokes a little thought, maybe ask a question, share some of my own thoughts and insights. But what I did earlier today was just drop a line out there and ask you all to, you know, think about something, come up with a topic, what's a question, what's something that you would want to have me answer or talk about here. So I'm going to give you an opportunity now live to drop in the comments, any questions you might have, anything that you've been thinking about, anything you've been struggling with.

It doesn't have to be what you're struggling with. Somebody know. But just what's a good question? What's something, a topic, a question, a comment, something that you would drop here in the chat that I could spin off and really start to talk about? I do have a backup plan, but I really want to give you all an opportunity to think about something and drive the conversation. So I'm going to give you a chance here. You know, I'll give you 30, 60 seconds, would love to hear from any of you just again, general topics.

Is there a question, something that's been on your mind, something specifically about me in the way that I try to operate my own recovery? Happy to go down that path. So I'll give you that opportunity. But again, Sunday serenity is incredibly important for me and I think positive. There we go, Sherry, jumping right in positive ways to manage loneliness. That's a real thing. And loneliness for me drove a lot of just the negative impacts and outcomes and drove me to seek again that external thing.

Now I will say there's a difference between being alone and being lonely. And I think, you know, I would be foolish if I sat here and said that, you know, loneliness is always just a matter of doing something in our everyday lives. There might be something clinically, something from a mental health component, but I think positive ways to manage loneliness. I mean, for me, I have my people. Luke, for example, I said, you know what, I'll drive up to your neck of the woods. And yesterday I drove up, met at a coffee shop and just had that opportunity to have some face to face time.

So it's about being intentional and it's actually about setting up now of people who are willing to check in and reach out. And that's exactly how that conversation started. I've been going through some family things here, as many of you might know. And Luke, who I consider a dear friend and brother, has been reaching out every day, every other day, sure, you do the same. We set up our networks of people and we find these through recovery, through our work, through family and let them know it's okay to check in on us.

Let them know, hey, if you don't hear from me for a while, I would want you to reach out. So I think that's those are, you know, just a couple ideas proactively that come to mind where I, you know, I know that those times are going to come And I just want to crawl back in a little hole. Maybe I don't feel good. And I feel like that might be the answer. We know that that's not the answer and actually a little bit dangerous when it comes to our recovery. And so I think making sure that I have a strong support network of family and friends, and sometimes it's hard, but there are a lot of people.

There are a lot of people here on the Cadre app. On the Cadre community. If I'm feeling lonely, perhaps something I want to do is just check into the Cadre app. I was telling you all about the community posts and being able to drop something in there, some thoughts and ideas that I have. But you all have the same opportunity. You can share thoughts, share insights, comment on any of those things, create some connections here because you have a wonderful community of thousands of people using this app alongside you.

And so I think those are a few things that come to mind. I actually appreciate this kind of thing. So I would welcome more. I'll kind of wrap up on the loneliness, but anyone else with just a quick topic that maybe I could cover in the second half of this little session here would love to do that. But again, loneliness is real. It gets a little more real this time of year because we're inside a lot more. It's darker. I mean, just all those things kind of compound. So, again, it's for me, fortunately or unfortunately, dealing with as much of the family stuff as I have been.

I've been around people all the time. Sometimes it's the opposite for me. I just need a little space in place to retreat to. But, you know, again, who's in my network and you'll hear me, you hear me talk about this a lot. What. Who are my people? Because times do get tough. We go through the challenges, we go through the pain. But if we're set up with people who care about us and we care about them, they will reach out, they will pick up the phone, they will be texting, they will be calling, they will be emailing saying, hey, where are you at?

And sometimes that's what it takes because we get kind of caught up in our own little worlds. And it gets hard to make that first outreach. You know, I lost an old friend back in October to suicide, and I shared a little bit about that. And I was actually talking to my brother about this, my little brother, he's talking a little bit about some of his mental health struggles this month, going through just a deadly diagnosis. And it's a, you know, we got Talking about the idea that when we get into these positions and we're lonely, you know, you think about the 988 and you think about all the resources we have.

Those are great, but those require me to pick up the phone and do something. And we're not always in a position to do that. So we lose people to suicide. And what do we hear? Well, I wish they would have just called. I wish you would know that I'm here. I can help. Here's the thing. I've been there. I've been in that position. And when somebody gets to the point where they think that the only option, that the best option is to not live this life, there's not a lot of hope that a phone call, me picking up the phone and reaching out to someone is going to change it.

No, I've mostly lost hope if I think that the best way is a way out and is not to be here on this planet. So I think that's another reason why, especially when it comes to loneliness, we have our networks and we have our people who are, you know, checking in with us regularly. Seasonal affective disorder. Yes. Yeah. In Pennsylvania again, same up here in Minnesota. I don't know how these people do it in the Norways and the Finlands and the Alaskas, and they have 30 days where they don't see any sun.

That's. That's. I can't imagine that. So, yeah, that compounds the loneliness. Again, this is just a tough time of year in general to be dealing with some of these. These feelings. And we get through the holidays, and sometimes those are hard for people. Even if they're not, then getting beyond the holidays is like back to real life. And, you know, January's cold, February is going to be colder, it's dark. I'm not trying to bring the mood down here, but that's the reality. If you live in any of the northern states, and if you don't, great, I'm gonna come join you one of these years and spend three months in the south every year or somewhere warm, anyway.

So, yeah, I think again, for me, it's all about who are my people? And I'm just so fortunate and blessed that I've built a network of people who really care, that really genuine people are going to reach out and they're going to be people that will be there when it matters most. And you know that that is a preventative action toward things like loneliness. So. But loneliness is real. And again, sometimes there's a difference between loneliness and being alone. And sometimes actually A lot of times I just need some time alone.

In fact, I need a little bit of that every single day. I need to get myself 30 to 60 minutes where it's quiet, I'm not around a lot of people, I'm not dealing with a lot of distractions because, you know, we get going in this life, things get busy, we have a lot going on. And, you know, for me, it means I have to kind of retreat and take a step back and spend some time alone. But if I do that too much, then the loneliness starts to kick in. So I've got a life that's full. It's full of people, and sometimes that's a little tiring.

But I think I would prefer that to the alternative, which is if I didn't have a full life and I didn't have all the people and I didn't have those connections, I don't think I would have the support and I wouldn't have the joy and I wouldn't have the love and the things that I get to share with all those people. I appreciate that spark in that conversation, Sherry. Managing. Managing the loneliness and doing so in a positive way. 02 on loneliness and how we manage, deal with it, whatever it might be.

It's all about the people. And the people are going to be there for me and help me. And then sometimes, sometimes we need help, you know, and that's okay, too. Having a mental health therapist, it's 20, 25. That's not a bad thing. I'll let you in on a little secret. I've got one, and I actually love those conversations that I get to have and the work that I get to do to continue to grow as a person, as a partner in business, as a family member, as a brother, as a son, and just as a person out here trying to make a real difference in this world of recovery.

I can't do that if I don't have my own house in order. And I happen to have a life coach, a business coach, a therapist, and all kinds of you people out there, friends that are really mentors and have guided me and supported me. And, you know, like I said, my brother Luke is one of those. And Sherry, we've had many conversations. I'd love to have more of them with all of you. Those are my insights on managing loneliness. And now to manage loneliness even more. When I hang up, I'm going to go back to my community room and I'm going to watch the rest of this football game where there are a bunch of people.

Seems like everybody's cheering for the same team. I don't know if you're watching football, who you're cheering for, but I think unless you live in that state of Kansas or Missouri or somewhere surrounding, you might be rooting for the Buffalo team. But that's what I have Appreciate connecting with you all here on Sunday night, taking a little break from the game and look forward to doing it again next week. And seriously, if you have ideas, you have things, directions you want me to go with some of this, I'll do this a little more once a month or something just to let you all drive the conversation and share some of your own insights.

Would love to just continue down that path and share and be here to serve you. So I'm grateful for all of you for tuning in the conversation and for the support I have here on Cadre with you and off the app as well and some of the relationships. So hope you all can find some of those as well. If not, just keep hanging around here because there are plenty of people that do exactly that. Look forward to connecting next Sunday. Hope you all have wonderful.