The 23rd Anniversary Of My Life Altering Car Accident

Wait. Hello everyone. I'll give you a minute to jump in. It's 4 July weekend. I hope that you are getting some time off and relaxing, getting outside, whatever it is that fuels you. I want to talk to you today about overcoming and not letting the past dictate your future, your present and your future. And just share a little story with you guys that I hope will boost you and just remind you that, you know, sometimes these holiday weekends, they come with a little baggage. But that's okay. I just want to share a little bit about my story.

My name is Risa. I am a wardrobe stylist and personal shopper. I am part of the Cadre family and I am also a product developer and entrepreneur. And you know, as I said just a minute ago, holiday weekends, they don't always mean happiness and barbecues and hot dogs and all the things that they typically are associated with sometimes for people, holiday weekends bring up a lot of of maybe sad or negative feelings, even feelings that you can't control. Maybe you associate a holiday weekend to something that's happened to you in your past, something that you've had a hard time moving on from.

And for me, this is the 23rd anniversary of a life altering car accident that I was in. I was 17 years old and everything was going great. I had just graduated high school, it was a month after graduation and it was 4 July weekend and I'm from a small town in Maine. So for us that meant swimming in the lake and hanging out with friends and walking down to a small little pond and watching the fireworks and seeing everybody in town that you knew because our town was so tiny. But on this day when I was 17, life really changed and 4 July weekend really changed for me.

And unfortunately, I was in a car accident that put me through a side window and I had to be rushed to reconstructive surgery. So I was left with a facial laceration as far as what you could see. Obviously there were some other things that came up later, but for me, I just remember being home from the hospital the next day and that was the day that the fireworks would typically happen. And I just remember sitting in my room bandaged up and I could hear the fireworks and the crowds of people walking down to the pond to enjoy the 4 July festivities.

And I was bandaged and scared and had no idea what my future was about to hold. So 4 July for me just always brought up just some scary, unknown feelings. And at that age, and you're about to go off to college, I was going to be a cheerleader in college, I had this future mapped out for me. I had these plans, right? Like, I thought that I knew exactly what my life was going to bring and what was in store for me. And I was really scared. So I did go off to college. I did end up cheering and I did sing the national anthem, and it was amazing.

But was it really? I think I suppressed a lot of post traumatic stress and a lot of feelings that ended up coming up for me about a year and a half into school, and I ended up having to leave school. The journey took me down a completely different path. And I think that happens when you go through something so traumatic and when you have an experience in life that changes you and alters you and alters your path. I mean, you just don't know. You don't know. Are you going to go down this road, or are you going to go down this road?

Are you going to go down the road of dark feelings and negativity and crawling into a hole, burying yourself? Or are you going to go down a path where you can turn your pain into your purpose? And over these last 23 years, I'm older now, obviously. I've learned a lot. I've done the work. But, you know, it doesn't mean that that past and what happened isn't a part of my story. And I just. I want you to know that you're not alone. If you're going through something this weekend or if you went through something this week or there's something going on in your life, it might feel like you want to choose the dark hole.

It might feel like you want to go down that path where you just don't want to deal because that feels easier, right? That's the easier way to go, is just to kind of crawl and shrivel. That's the easier way. That's the easier route. There's no work involved. You just go and you just be. The work that it takes to come out on the other side, however, is so worth it. It's harder. Trust me, it's harder. You probably know if you've been through something, you know, it takes work. It takes work to turn your pain into your purpose.

For me, it was my accident into my achievement. Taking that accident and wanting to work with burn victims who maybe had a facial scar that they wanted to cover or do makeup for women so they felt beautiful on their wedding day, learn about skincare, throw myself into the fashion and beauty industry, use it so I could help people. And the growth that was involved in all of those years and the work that I had to do to come out on the other side. It was hard. I felt alone. Oftentimes, every year, this time of year, feelings would come up and I would kind of dwell and go back to that place of, oh, man, I still have a scar on my face.

Oh, man. People might look at me and think I'm not beautiful, or maybe I won't get this job. Maybe I won't become the actress that I wanted to become because I have a scar on my face, so I don't have a chance. I don't have a chance at that. So once a year, I felt myself kind of going back to that place. But as time went on and I learned how to do the work, and I learned how to set boundaries, and I learned how to take care of myself, and I learned how to emotionally build myself up, and I learned how to put my time and energy into helping other people feel good.

I got stronger, I got better, I got more confident. And I ultimately found myself in an industry that, to a lot of people, can seem really vain. The fashion industry scares people a little bit. It's a little cutthroat. It seems very materialistic. But there are a lot of avenues that you can go down in this industry that are really used for good, and you can really help people, and you can really make a difference in people's lives. And that's the path that I chose. And I think that you are in control.

I think that no matter how hard it feels, you have a choice. You are in control of your destiny. You are in control of how you treat yourself. You are in control of how you treat others. You are in control of how you talk to yourself. I had to change the way that I spoke to myself and say, I am not my scar. My scar is not me. I am a beautiful human being. I treat others with kindness. I face the day I get up and take care of myself. I get up and go to work, even though a lot of times it felt really hard.

And I didn't even get to finish my college degree in a traditional sense. I had to go back and do it later when I turned 29, not when I was 21. Life was different, and it was hard, but I chose to take the path that would teach me something so I could turn around and teach others. So I encourage you, if you're going through something hard, to take the path that feels even harder and use those tools and go out and make yourself a better human being. And that way you can be better for the people around you.

Your past does not dictate your future. It's literally just a stop on the map. It's a part of the journey. It's one place that you're visiting in this grand scheme, in this grand adventure of life. And I really, truly feel that had I not gone through that, had I not experienced that, that I would never be the empath and the pay it forward and the loving human that I am, both for myself and for the people in my client roster and just the people in my life and in my world. I truly believe that when you go through something like that, it can be used for so much good.

So I encourage you this weekend to find the good and look beyond the hardship and meditate. Journal, do what you need to do to get things out on paper. Express yourself, exercise, build endorphins, build excitement around your life. It goes so, so fast, and time is our greatest currency. So now, as an older adult, I think about this weekend so differently. I don't tell the grand story on social media like I used to. Like, oh, 21 years, 22 years. All these years have gone by in my life. Oh, my goodness.

No. It's so different now. It's like, thank goodness that happened to me. I would never be able to serve people at the level that I'm serving them today. If I hadn't gone through that, I would never be able to talk to young teens about inner beauty versus outer beauty. It doesn't matter what you look like. It does not matter. And I don't know if I would have heard that when I was a teen, but I really hope that I can get through to teens now and let them know that they're not alone. We are all going through something.

We all have our own small or big struggles, but I wanna be able to take what I had been through and teach people that they're good enough, they matter, and they need to just love on themselves. So I hope that this has felt, like a little bit of love on you this weekend. And wear your seatbelt, be safe, and just show love and compassion for the people around you. It just. It gets you so far. And don't forget to love yourself. I'm cheering for you. I'm in your corner, and I just wish you the best holiday weekend.

And I'm so glad you're here with our Cadre family. So happy fourth, everyone.