Conscious Fatherhood: Savor Every Day

Well, well, hello, Kajrasphere. I just want to know how the heck has it been a week already? This is ridiculous. So it's week two of August, and that means savor, right? And for me, week two is really focusing on conscious fatherhood. And so what I talked about was this idea of savoring every moment, right? As a father, as a parent, but, like, truly, truly engaging with that experience of being a parent. And, you know, I'll be honest with you, when I saw that the word of the month was savor, I was kind of like, what am I gonna.

What am I gonna talk about for savor? But it's good. It's got me stretched a little bit and. And kind of looking outside. And the thing about, like, being a parent, right? When I. When my daughter was first born, somebody said, it's like the Peace Corps. It's the toughest job you'll ever love. And what I know is that again, and I talked about this in just the description of this live stream, I was challenged by friends to really savor every moment that I have with my daughter. And I'll never forget, never forget my friend looking at me saying, don't wish it away.

Before you know it, she will be in college. The time will go like that. And my daughter is 16. And what I can say in all honesty, that the time hasn't gone like that, and yet the time has gone like that. But if you were to ask me, does it feel like 16 years? It does feel like 16 years. And I think part of that is because I have worked hard to be present, and I've worked hard to savor the moments that I've had with her. Those of you who are parents know, know that feeling the very first time your child is put in your arms.

There's nothing like it. I mean, I got to be in the. I got to be in the room when she was delivered, when she was, you know, she was cesarean. And so she was pulled out of my. You know, pulled out of my wife and then held up and then taken over to the little table. And I was able to go over there as she took her first breaths. And it was very interesting, too, because one of the. The nurses looked at her and said, wow, she is so aware. Like, for a baby, she's so aware. She's taking everything in.

And amazingly, that's like, a great description of my daughter. But, like, when they said, daddy, like, dad, do you want to hold her? And, I mean, there's nothing like it, you know, and then maybe it was like the skin on skin, right? The skin on skin kind of sleeping with my daughter when she was just a baby and having her on my chest. First words. I mean, I can go through it all, and I know all of you who are parents, you've had similar experiences, but always in the back of my mind was like, be here now.

Savor this moment. She's yelling and screaming, be here now. She's going off to camp. Be here now. She's going off to her first day of school. Be here now. I'm traveling for work. How could I be there? She doesn't want to talk to me on the phone while I'm gone. I feel hurt. So be with that. Because the other thing about being present with our kids is being present with the feelings that having our kids brings up for us. It's all our old stuff that hasn't been dealt with, and it's all the new stuff that might develop as a result.

That's why my daughter has been such an incredible teacher, and I've tried to honor that as best I can every single day. And that's the gift. Be here now. And, you know, as she's growing up, she's 16, she's dating, she's making her own decisions. Some of them I agree with, some of them I don't necessarily, but she's making her own decisions, and I get to be here with her in making those decisions. I get to support her. I get to have conversations with her. I get to ask questions. Sometimes tough questions.

I get to make tough decisions. You know, we're all figuring it out the best we can. But if I can savor these moments, it's everything. If I can savor these moments, it is everything. Every laugh, every tear, every door slammed, which, you know, she knows we don't do that, and so she stopped that. But every little experience, if I can be as present as I can for that and know, like, this is a gift, this interaction with my daughter is a gift. This interaction with our family is a gift. Can you savor that moment?

Can you get out of your own head? Can you get out of your own way? Can you get out of your own stuff and, like, really, really be there? And so sometimes what that means is cleaning stuff up, having to clean stuff up, having to apologize to my daughter, having to acknowledge that I made a mistake, having to acknowledge that I was wrong, having to acknowledge that I was inappropriate, whatever it is, because it is a very imperfect journey, and we get to savor all of it. So for me, that's being a father.

Have a great weekend, everybody.