Moving Across the Country - How an Adventure Can be a Reset

Evan here, your resident mental health and addiction therapist. And I was speaking with another member of Cadre, and I asked her, well, hey, what ideas do you have for doing videos? And she said, well, maybe talk about the trip that you're on right now. So right now I am in Australia. I'm here visiting my brother and his wife, and they're about to have a baby any minute now. We'll see. So she's full term, so at any point I could get a call, but, yeah, so I was actually going to come out here anyways, so she want me to talk about the trip and kind of what I'm learning from doing it.

And I thought, you know what? Maybe that could be a good idea. So I thought maybe I would talk to you all about the general topic of getting out of your comfort zone, because I'm going to be here. I'm living here essentially for a handful of months. And who knows? I may make a habit out of it. And so there's some things I've learned on, like, a personal level from doing this so far for about a month. But also, I thought we could have a little bit of fun and. Oh, what's up, Risa? So I thought we could also have a little bit of fun.

And I will tell you, there's another Cadre member who happens to be my mom, so maybe she would like to hear this. So the future, the future grandmother is here. So any minute now she'll be a first time grandma. But anyway, so, yeah, we could talk about the personal growth element, but also we could have fun and talk about some of the differences that I've found. Some funny differences between America and Australia. So I could give you my top ten, five. I don't know. We'll see how many come out saying there's an echo.

Yeah, it's tough. I don't have my main microphone at the second, but hopefully it's not too bad. Is it, like, that bad? I always maybe get my mic set up. Is it, like, horrible? There's a little echo in this room. Anyways, how bad is it? On a one to ten scale here? It's bad, huh? That's really weird. All right, screw it. I'll get a microphone. All right, let's see if this helps at all. Anyway, so if you're watching this, if you're watching a re. A replay of this, you could just fast forward this part.

Alright, let's see. Better. Did it get rid of the echo? Can you hear me? Yeah. That heart mean? Yes, that it's better. All right. I'm looking for confirmation. Can you hear me? Is this better? Somebody? Anybody? All right, there we go. All right, so let's get going. So first let's talk. It's only a bit better. Risa says, sounds good. So we're going to go with Risa because it can't get any better than this. This is my main mic here. Served me well. So anyway, as far as personal growth goes. So I looked up a little bit.

So I thought about my own experience, and this experience I do with my, I've had with my clients. So, I mean, a lot of times I do challenge my clients to get out of their comfort zone, and there's a few reasons why. A lot of my clients have anxiety. And one of the most common interventions for dealing with anxiety is an element of exposure. And this goes with, like, a lot of things, like trauma therapy as well, because when we fear something, we avoid it. And when we avoid something, it perpetuates the fear, right?

It reinforces the fear every time I avoid something. So if I'm afraid to get out of my comfort zone or go travel or, or do anything that is, like, super challenging or gives me anxiety, I don't grow. So personal growth in and of itself isn't a huge advantage to getting out of your comfort zone. Now, it doesn't mean moving all the way around the world, per se, but it could be little things in your life. It could be trying something new, trying a new food, trying a new activity, a new hobby, you know, something that you normally wouldn't do, something that gets you out of your routine.

Because another benefit of doing that is it opens up your world. And when that happens, people tend to be a little bit happier when they become more open to new experiences, because it makes your world a little bit bigger, it makes your life a little bit richer to do things that maybe you wouldn't have otherwise. It breaks up your routine. It breaks up the monotony. And another advantage, too, is often when you do that and you expand your world, you meet new people, and that's a really big predictor of happiness, is the quality of your connection.

So having a greater amount of quality connections, the better you are or the better off you are. So that is another one. And also it increases your resilience, right? So just like working out, like, if I avoid exercising, I'm not going to get stronger, right? My muscles aren't going to develop or my oxygen producing capacity to my muscles, right? Cardio. I'm not a physiologist, but so the more you do it right, the more you get it. Because it can be uncomfortable to exercise. Right. If you're exercising and it's uncomfortable, you know you're doing it right.

Well, I shouldn't say that you don't want to, like, injure yourself or something, but, you know, for it to be a good workout. So you're challenging yourself to some degree, and when it becomes a challenge, then the next time you do it, the better off you are. And here, to give you an example from this trip here, when I first got here, I'm kind of coming from late fall, winter, so I'm not, like, walking as much. But when I got here, I was just doing a ton of walking, like, triple the amount I was, like, running.

So I was going probably too hard because it's so exciting. I'm walking everywhere. And then it actually really messed my feet up. So for, like, over a week, I was, like, even having trouble walking sometimes because I had, like, if it was, like, blisters, like, on the ball of each foot, I had this, like, massive, like, blister or something like that. So I'm, like, hobbling around, right. Because I wasn't used to it, right. So I kind of got out of my comfort zone, literally. And, you know, I wasn't, like, thinking about it that much.

But then my body's like, hey, you know, we're not ready for this, right? So, I mean, you don't want to get to that point. But just as an example, right, when my feet healed, they healed stronger, right. They become calloused. So now I could do that. I could walk around Barefoot. Right. You know, being now I could walk more. I can, you know, do all these things I wasn't able to do before. So that that applies to all different areas of life. The more you do something, practice something, the more you're able to do it, and the more you're then able to do in general.

Right. By opening your world up. Right. So, yeah, we talked about that. Greater life satisfaction, increased social. But I also say, too, that it increases your self esteem, because sometimes it's those anxieties that make us, like, feel bad about ourselves, right. Oh, man, I wish I was better at this, or, oh, God, I keep avoiding this. I fear this. And so the more you do these things to challenge yourself and increase your comfort zone, increase your competency, too, because sometimes it's just how good you are at certain things that you do, then you often feel better about yourself.

You're like, wow, look at this. Look at this challenge. Look at this thing I accomplished, right? So that's pretty cool. I heard once a definition of self esteem is doing esteemable acts or not the definition, but how to improve your self esteem is do esteemable things that you could feel good about, things that are maybe noble or self sacrificing, but also things that are difficult. Accomplishments, getting a certain degree that you worked hard for, a promotion or something that you had to work for.

There's a different type of pleasure. I always say there's two types of pleasure. They're simple and complex. And this is coming from an addiction counselor. When people are stuck in a cycle of addiction, that's a simple pleasure that they're chasing, like a quick hit. Something you get from eating a fatty, sugary meal or something like that. Not demonizing that. We actually need these simple pleasures. If you become too rigid and disciplined, that could work against you. But some of these things are body needs, rest and work.

So you have the simple pleasures, but then there's the complex pleasures, which are the ones that are delayed gratification, the ones that take, that are difficult, that offer a challenge, where in the end, you get a reward. That degree, that promotion. It's kind of like the fruits of your labor, right? And that's a different type of pleasure. And that's one that's more lasting, because it's like you're not. Like, you're not. I don't know, maybe it was the best meal of all time, but you're not sitting there thinking about the piece of chocolate cake you ate a month ago and feel, like, great about that by any means.

You don't have to feel bad about it, but it's not like something you'll remember forever, unless it was, like, the best chocolate cake and, you know, had the gold flakes on it, which is. Doesn't do anything for the flavor, but, yeah, maybe for the experience. I saw that, like, at the Salt Bay restaurant. You know, the guy that does the salt, they have, like, a. It's like a $1000 tomahawk steak with, like, gold wrapped in gold flakes, which is, like, completely useless. But, hey, it's about the experience, and you got the guy putting the salt on it, and you get a good instagram photo.

All right, so, yeah, so it's kind of more of a complex pleasure, something you could hold on to. Or if someone, like, completes a marathon, that's another. I know a lot of the people here at Cadre are big workout junkies, and perhaps Risa may or may not be one of those who do these crazy marathon events and tough mudders and that and the other. And you get that little medal or whatever you get at the end and get a good picture, and you feel good about yourself. You're able to accomplish something you otherwise wouldn't.

So. So again, like. So just doing some of these things, getting out of your comfort zone, I, you know, really do pay off in the end. Right? So that's what I found. You're doing a half marathon in the next two weeks. Yeah, I knew. I knew. I knew you were up to something, right? And that's good. So you're always kind of chasing that next challenge, and probably then you feel good. And even not just from the outcome, but sometimes in the journey itself, in the process itself, you could feel good about yourself knowing that you're working towards something, right.

Because once you get that thing right, it's kind of like you're on to the next one. So there's a. There's something to be said there about appreciating when you do have those accomplishments. I do know you well. I know you better than you know yourself, Rhysand, that's for d*** sure. All right, so let's talk about Australia a little bit. I've been here a month, so I'll give you some funny observations that I found, and I'll tell you one interesting story from being here that was kind of crazy. All right, so here's number one.

So this is my favorite one. That's kind of weird to me, and I actually experienced it this morning. So one of the first days I was here, I went to a coffee shop, and I was, you know, so I go up to the barista, and he's, hey, what can I. What can I get you? What can I do you for? And I was like, yeah, I'd like a coffee, please. And he's like, what kind of coffee? I'm like, just a coffee. Black coffee. He's like, yeah, but what kind? Like, just coffee, mate. Like, that's one d*** coffee, right? He's like, well, we don't really have that.

I'm like, what do you mean you don't have coffee? He's like, you know, we have, like, espresso, a latte, long black. Like, what's a long black? He's like, I think you all call it Americano, so espresso with water. And I'm like, okay, so is everything espresso? And he's like, yeah. And I'm like, okay. And another fun fact. Like, for some reason in my head, like, literally my whole life until, like, a year ago, I thought it was expresso, not espresso. So I still say, like, expresso because of years.

I don't know why. It's like, one of these, like, weird aphasias that I have that once. I think something. I can't see it differently. So anyways, so we have this, like, awkward exchange, and I think he kind of figured I was like, look, like, you know, we don't have, like, what you would call, like, filtered or drip coffee. Like, it's just, like, not really a thing. You'd have to, you know, you could buy it or whatever. And I was just like, huh? And then literally everywhere I went, it's the same thing.

Like, even this morning, I go up to the guy. I went to the corner store because I ran out of coffee, and I was like, I knew they didn't have it. But he's like, what could I get you? I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go for a coffee. And what kind? I knew it was coming, though, but the coffee machine was on the other side of the store, but, yeah. So I got, the closest thing I could find at the store is called these long blacks, like an Americano. So it's like this really concentrated espresso. They add water, and then it sort of equals, like, a regular coffee.

Not that I don't like espresso. I do like it, but I prefer regular coffee most of the time. So there's a time and place for espresso or a latte. So I found that to be funny. The appliances are not super great here. They're not, like, as reliant upon them. Like, like, the washer dryer. Like, just, like, did not dry my clothes. Like, they don't have, like, the big dryers usually. And I think, you know, because you're in the city too, I don't know what it's, like outside, but you're, like, conserving space.

You know, the apartments are a little smaller and stuff, but, yeah, those just, like, don't really work. So everyone, like, hangs their stuff up, like, old school, and I've, like, never done that, really. So I don't know what I'm doing. So I'm staying at this place, and I, like, hung up a bathing suit, which. Oh, they call that a swimmer, you swimmers or swim costume. So I hung it up, and, like, apparently I did it wrong because I came back and, like, someone, like, fixed it for me and, like, used, like, a clothesline.

So it must, like, fallen off or someone just saw it. And, like, this person has no idea what they're doing. So they actually, like. And I actually had, like, a pair of underwear that I was, like, wearing under these, like, shorts that I just, like, jumped in the ocean. It's like that. Yeah, I think it's, like, very european, too. So someone, like, actually, like, grabbed my underwear. That's nice of them. That's fine. But I don't think I would do that to some brando's underwear. The cars here, it's interesting.

They have, like, similar cars, but they don't have, like, the variety of the US. Like, the US you like, it's like this and then a pickup truck and this kind of truck and that. And they just, like, don't have that many different types of cars, and they just, like, don't care. I don't think they're, like, as obsessive about cars. You know, there's some people have, like, you'll see, like, you know, a nice mercedes or BMW or whatever, but, you know, you know, it's like, just, like, kind of the same type of Toyota, mazda, whatever.

They, you know, they don't. I've seen, like, one Tesla, you know, but in America, just, like, every kind of car under the sun. And, you know, so I thought that was kind of same thing I said with dogs. Like, there's not, like, the same, like, variety of dogs like, in the US. There's, like, this purebred and that and that and that and that. Although I did see one. Maybe my mom will find this amusing, but I did find an exact replica of my dog, which, like, freaked me out. It was, like, much smaller, but the same colors and same type of breed.

And that tripped me out. But, yeah, they don't have that. And if you want to bring a dog here, my mom here will tell you that it's not easy. My brother tried, and, you know, you'll see what you saw. What happened to Johnny Depp, who tried to sneak his dog, and they almost took it and euthanized it. They don't mess around. Like, I find if you mess around here, they just, like, kick you out of the country. You're like, you banned from Australia. I guess some, like, like, musical artist recently came here and was, like, talking s*** on stage, and they just, like, banned her from the country.

Like, it's like, you won't talk s***, you're gone. So you don't want to mess around with a ban you from the country forever or kill your dogs. Anyway, um, yeah, work life balance is very different here. America is just kind of that toxic work culture, where it's more like, you live to work, and here it's much different. It's not like they're not passionate about their career or ambitious or anything, but they just. It's so much more about lifestyle. Just like my brother here, they spend their money on getting a bus or they have a truck that goes off, like, camping and travel.

So they're all about travel, even, like, within the country, because there's so much, like, beautiful coastline and nature. So they're always, like, ditching out on the weekends and, you know, or living here by the beach and going surfing, and, you know, they're just, like, very active, which makes everyone, like, a little bit better looking because they're just so active. But, yeah, so that's interesting, you know? And then, like, they get some, like, much better work benefits. Like, you know, my brother's gonna have, like, six months of paternity leave, so he's literally taking a half a year off after having.

So it's, like, much, much different culture. So that's kind of nice. Can't even read my own handwriting. Interior. What the h*** am I trying to say here? Well, here's another one. They abbreviate every single word in, like, a very literal sense. It's actually pretty funny. Like. Like I said, your swim costume, your bathing suit is swimmers, your sunglasses, a sunnies breakfast is brekkie. My favorite is, like, you know, people who work in, like, the trades are called tradies. And it's not, like, even insulting.

It's just like, oh, yeah, it's a tradie. And you're like, what do you do? No, I'm a tradie. You know? But then each tradie has its own, like, an electrician is, like, a sparky, and it's, like, not even weird. It's like, oh, yeah, he's a sparky. It's not like, you know, maybe if I called someone that in the US, they'd be like, no, I'm a licensed electrician. Like, don't call me a sparky. But here, it's just, like, normal. So it's pretty funny because they literally do that with everything. So they have the funniest, like, slang terms, and it's very amusing how they shorten everything.

All right, quick story. It's only about a couple minutes here. I'm working on the accent. Too easy, Mike. Too easy. That's, like, one of my favorite things. They say. It's like, hey, can you get me that? Like, too easy. Too easy. It's another good one. But anyway, so we took a camping trip. We're about 3 hours out of Sydney. Beautiful place. And they are known for having some of the most beautiful beaches in this spot. It's called Jervis Bay. These beautiful, like, white sand, like powders. Like you're walking on flower.

And then, like, the water is just like, aqua blue, like, right by the shoreline. So we're on this gorgeous beach. And the weather was, like, not as great that weekend. It was kind of windy, a little cooler for them. And so it wasn't like a ton of people out. So we're at this, like, really gorgeous called Heims beach. You could look it up. H A I m s. But just gorgeous, right? And there's not a lot of people. So I'm like, yeah, we're just standing there. But you know what? I'm like, maybe I'll go for a jog.

And this is actually what did my feet in and, like, screwed me up because they're already kind of messed up. And this just absolutely torched them. But I was kind of running on the sand, and I get, like, about a mile down, and there's, like, no one there. And I see this weird thing in the distance. What the h*** is that? Is that like an animal or something? So I get up, I get closer and closer. And on this, like, gorgeous, picturesque beach, there's a massive dead kangaroo. Like, just, you know, it's huge.

And I actually. We'd seen a ton of them around. It was really cool. So we saw, like, kangaroos and baby kangaroos and all these really cool animals while we were camping. But, like, it was just such a weird. I really wish I got a picture, but I didn't want to walk all the way back because it was just such a crazy sight. Like this gorgeous beach with this, like, a massive dead kangaroo in the middle of the beach. So I don't know. That was bizarre. So that's my. That's one of my Australia stories.

So hopefully you got something out of that. We had a little bit of fun. I gotta go hop on a call. I don't know. Sorry. The sound was bad at the beginning. Hopefully you didn't ditch out. But thanks for those who participated. And, well, if you're in America, have a good rest of your evening. And for me here, I'm going to try to enjoy the day. All right, everyone. Good on you. Take it. Eight. Take it easy. Too easy.