Agreement vs. Understanding

Hello, this is Doctor David Everett. I am attempting and wanting to talk to you today about agreement versus understanding. I think one of the things that's really important to realize is, particularly in the society that we live in right now, particularly the polarized society that we live in right now, there's such a demand to agree, to be on the same page, to make sure everyone has the same thought or the same viewpoint. And when that isn't the case, the opportunity to collaborate, the opportunity to learn and grow together, somehow falls by the wayside.

I think understanding is much more important and provides much more space to continue to work together, to continue to collaborate, to continue to grow and engage, because it isn't so much based on the what, but it's also connected to the how and the why. How do you feel and where are your feelings coming from? And why is that such an important piece to how you view things or your perspective? It also allows folks to bring in their experiences and also allows folks to bring in their own thoughts and perspectives in a way that isn't such a condemnation and isn't such a hard stop because we don't agree.

I also think too, particularly from a leadership standpoint, if you want to invite ideas, thoughts and perspectives, it's also a great bar set or a standard setting way to say we don't have to agree. Our opinions are our opinions. But how can we make sure that we're hearing multiple perspectives and providing space for those perspectives to inform and influence what we do and how we go about doing that? And so if you want to shift or you want to move away from agreement, that binary of right and wrong, good or bad, like or dislike, and move to a more fluid situation of understanding where folks are coming from and inviting and creating space for folks to contribute.

They're not just authentic, but their entire selves, particularly as it relates to diverse thoughts, differing opinions, varying perspectives, and all of those other kinds of things, that is the best way to build teams, that is the best way to lead. That is the best way to move forward in terms of organizational culture, where folks feel like they can share, where folks feel like they can provide a perspective that might be different and it won't be critiqued or condemned, and it will be given just as much space as some of those opinions that might not be dissenting or contrary.

And so I invite and encourage all of you leaders. When you think about agreement, or when you're thinking about building teams and establishing culture, maybe agreement isn't the premium and the priority that you should have. Think about understanding. Think about providing space where folks can share their thoughts and where those thoughts are coming from, and what's prompting the reactions and the responses to some of the things that you might be doing as an organization, or some of the things that you would like to do as an organization.

But the more space that you can provide for folks to give input and to feel respected and valued and validated in giving that input, the more I think you'll find understanding and providing space to understand is the best way to go about that. So if you can remember three things that would be that in a nutshell, provide space for folks to contribute, really encourage and engage what is being contributed, and then find ways to incorporate all of those things that you now have a better understanding of, even though you may not necessarily agree with them.

So thanks. Happy Friday, happy new year, and I'll see you next week.