She Doesn't Feel Loved

Hey, Cadre. Family doctor Carey here. I just got back from the Dominican Republic on a mission trip, and this is my fifth mission trip. But let me tell you, every time I go, it is just. It's a lot. It's a lot to take in. It's a lot to process. And I'm still honestly processing right now everything that I saw, and I just want to share about one experience that just really touched my heart. We had the opportunity to go into this woman's home and just talk to her and just spend some time with her. She ended up telling us just about some of the most horrific things that she's had to experience in life, including the water that she could find for her children was just puddles on the ground, whether it be mixed with, like, animal urine or whatever, rainwater.

Like, she. She literally scooped up puddles to feed her family, just to get their family water. And it was just so devastating to hear this and to see the conditions of her home. But what hit me the most was when she said that her biggest struggle is that she doesn't feel loved. And it took every fiber of my being to not just start sobbing in her home. And I'm getting really emotional now talking about it, because I just thought, isn't that pretty much everybody's basic human need just to be loved?

And then she went on to explain to us how even though she's a dominican woman and we were in the Dominican Republic, she's very much shunned from her church, from her community, because she's so poor, they don't even want to hire her to work because she's just kind of an outcast in society, and she needs work because she literally can't afford to eat or pay her rent. And all she wants to do is feel loved. And it just broke my heart because every human being walking on this earth right now wants to feel loved.

That is a basic human need and one that we often take for granted. I take it for granted that I feel loved, that I grew up in a loving home, that despite the trauma I've experienced, especially in relationships, I still feel loved. I have people I can call when I need someone to talk to, and this woman has no one. She has her kids, and that's it. And I just thought, how can she possibly go every single day without feeling loved? But she just really, at the basis of this, when I broke it down to, like, how does she not feel loved?

It's also about being seen and about being known, because for me to experience love from other people from friends, family. They also see me and they know me. And so in turn, then I feel loved. But she's not even seen or known. She literally is just like, look past as she walks down the street, because people don't want to make eye contact with her, because she's so poor, because she smells, because she's not wearing clean clothing, and they don't even want to see her. She's not even seen by others, much less known.

The next level of this would be for her to really be known by someone other than her kids, for somebody to just know her, know her personality, know who she is, just know everything about her. They don't know her. And so in turn, she doesn't feel loved. And at this moment, I prayed and I asked God, how can we show her love? And he told me, just being here with her and I thought, this isn't enough. This isn't enough for us to really pour out love to her. But the 45 minutes that we spent in her home just moved mountains in her life by the time we left.

We took some photos of her. And her son mentioned to us, he said, I can't remember the last time I saw my mom smile. And her face was just lighting up as we were taking photographs of her because she was being seen. We didn't know her more than just the 45 minutes that we spent with her and talked to her and learned about some of the struggles that she's had in life. But for that brief moment, she was seen, she was known, and we poured out love to her. And that meant the world to her. And I just know that that made a difference in her life, a tremendous difference, even if it was small.

So I would just encourage you to think about what areas of your life do you not feel seen? Do you not feel known? Do you not feel loved? And how can you take those matters into your own hands and reach out to people? Because I have found in my past, when I've shut people out, when I put up blocks with friendships, when I've not really let someone know me, that's on me. And it's kind of my fault that I'm not letting people in. And I say that the reason I'm not letting people in is because I don't trust people, because I've been hurt before.

But I have enough wisdom to know who I can trust and who I can't trust. And sometimes that does come with getting hurt in the end. But really, who can you reach out to right now? I guarantee you that anybody sitting on the other side of this camera right now has somebody they can reach out to in their moments of despair that they are known and they are seen. You may not feel loved by this person, by this friend, by this family member, but they at least see you and they know you. So I would encourage you to surround yourself with that community because it is so important to have a community around you that makes you feel seen, known and loved.

And then also I would encourage you figure out what people in your life need you to reach out to them. Who do you need to let them know that I see you, I know you and I love you because I guarantee there's people in your life that need that reassurance from you and you might be that person for them. So I would encourage you to just make those connections. You get that urge to, like, pick up the phone and call someone. Do it. Do it today. Don't wait, because somebody might be sitting on the other end of that phone in complete despair and hopelessness.

And what they need right now is somebody to see them, know them and love them and give them that hope that things are going to get better. I can't tell you the times that I have felt suicidal in my life. I feel very little love. I feel very little known, and I don't feel seen, but I know there's community out there that I can reach out to. But in those moments, you don't want to reach out to someone because you have such despair and hopelessness. So I think about this woman and the hopelessness that she feels that if she were to reach out to someone, how rejected she would feel.

But I guarantee there's somebody in her life, like us as missionaries that come in that she can reach out to. And it was just such a beautiful thing because through this experience, she got to come to our women's retreat two days later and be seen and known and loved by a whole bunch of other women. Like, we literally got her into a community of people because we first started by reaching out to her when she wasn't probably going to do that. So figure out who those people are in your life. Reach out to them, pick up that phone, make that phone call, because there's somebody on the other line that needs to be seen, known and loved right now.

Thank you for tuning in with me today, guys. God bless.