This is a big one for taboo topics! Culture defines “good” family relationships for us, and if yours looks different, that’s hard to talk about. I’ll share my experience in hopes that it helps you see you’re not alone.
Today is grief day on Cadre. I am here to talk about family estrangement and grief. I'm hoping some of you can join or have joined. Just know that afterwards I'll read the comments and be grateful for them.
Shannon: I have CPTSD. It's complex PTSD. Part of why I have that diagnosis is because of the relationships that I have with my family. And so when the word estrangement is something I didn't really think applied to me until I started to go into therapy in the last eight years.
For me, estrangement is the grief of what you don't have. It's something that affects me throughout my life. You can take that same sentiment and apply it to all relationships. All that grieving what isn't in your family system is valid.
Hi, everybody. It is Shannon from Cadre. All right, welcome. Today is grief day on Cadre, and we are here. I am here to talk about family estrangement and grief. So I'm in a weird setting. I'm just gonna honor it. I'm sitting here with my friend animeo, who many of you know from Cadre. We just landed in Charlotte. And so, Charlotte, North Carolina. We actually came here today to do some work with doctor Charisse. Super excited. We're gonna be spending some time with her this weekend. Okay, well, I'm hoping some of you can join or have joined.
And it's nice to see you. If you're here, I can't see the comments, so if you did, then I. And I don't say your name. Just know that afterwards I'll read the comments and be grateful for them. So. All right, so today we're talking about family estrangement and when we built this grief day on Cadre, that might not know necessarily be the first thing that comes to mind, but part of what I do, so. And again, for those of you who don't know me, I'm Shannon. I am not a clinician of any kind. I'm a person who has anxiety, CPTSD, and I live with a child, or, excuse me, I parent a child with autism.
But. So the part of me that I talk about a lot, or I say when I introduce myself, is that I have CPTSD. And so for those of you who don't know what that is, that is. It's complex PTSD, I think it's still not necessarily incredibly diagnosed. It's new. There's a bunch of stuff around it, right. This is just my own experience I'm speaking to. And so why. Part of why I have that diagnosis is because of the relationships that I have with my family. And it's some of the things that I grew up with. When I was the family system that I grew up with, there were a lot of marriages, divorces, all.
If you made a list of many of the things that happen in families, that can be challenging. I'm thinking in some way, shape or form, it probably affected my family in some way. And so when the word estrangement is something I didn't really think applied to me until I started to go into therapy in the last eight years, and I'm not going to get way deep into it today because, again, I'm in an Uber and I'm driving to a hotel. But I primarily wanted to set the stage to say that this is a topic we're going to talk about.
And I think, for me, one of the hardest parts about this when it comes to grief is that estrangement is the grief of what you don't have. For me, I'll speak to myself. It's the grief of what I see around me in the world and culture, of what family should look like, of what good relationships look like, what it means to have parents who love you and who are there for you. And you can take that same. You can take that same sort of sentiment and apply it to all relationships. Right. Whether it's a sibling relationship all over the place.
Right. I don't need to give you examples. But I think, for me, why I chose to talk about family estrangement on grief day is because it's something that affects me throughout the year. It affects me throughout my life, because there's so much cultural focus placed on familial relationships. Father's Day, Mother's Day, Thanksgiving, we gather with our families, right? There's a holiday pretty much every month that's connected in some way to a familial relationship. And I have some broken relationships.
So I think today I just want to put that concept out there to you. All that grieving what isn't in your family system is valid. I'll talk more about that in a million ways in the coming weeks. But I just wanted to set the stage to say that it's something that is. I'm bumping along on a road here, so I'm cutting it sort of short. I'm just being honest. But I wanted to come on and see everybody and thank you for being here on this day as we go through exploring grief and loss and know that when you come back every Friday, we're gonna be here.
I know Anna, my partner in crime over here again. She's coming on later today as well, for her life to talk about grief. So we'll see you soon again here in the Cadre spirit. Thanks, everybody. Have a great weekend. Bye, guys.
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