Comedy Centered: Celebrating While Sober

Hello, everyone. I hope you can hear me. I am coming to you live from the great outdoors. It is Sunday, May 19, and this is comedy centered. I hope you are having still enjoying your weekend and had a great Saturday and Friday night and all that good stuff. Comedy center just for anybody new that's gonna join in, this is a weekly topic, plus share. My name is Tiffany Norton. I'm a stand up comedian based out of the twin Cities area. Been doing stand up for about 17 years and have been working with within mental health and around it for a really long time.

Oh, morning or morning? Look at me. Good morning. Speak, wonder. Oh, my God. Anyway, thank you for being here. And it's my birthday today, coincidentally. And so it's interesting, though, for those of you that, like, I haven't met personally or have ever seen, my stand up drinking was a big part of my act. It was a big part of my life and a lot of other stuff. And so about two years ago, my 50th birthday, right. Two years ago, I knew I had to just throw in the towel on the way I'd been doing things.

And it still took me, like another week or two to really get the motivation and the tools together. Hey, everybody that's joining to do it. But I did. And I swear to God, anybody who knows me in real life, if I can quit drinking, it is possible. I would not have. I would. I'm telling you the truth. Two years ago, at this moment, never would have thought. Never would have thought, let alone I'd be here in Cadre trying to help encourage people that are trying to analyze why they have this relationship, you know, with alcohol, maybe with drugs, maybe with drinking, maybe with whatever, right?

Why do we. Why do we do these kinds of things anyway? So. And in a fun way, hopefully. So. But because my birthday this weekend, I was thinking a lot about what were those first interactions like, because I quit on June 3, 2022 and summertime, man. And you're. And. And even if you're just, like, cutting back, right, maybe you're just. Maybe you're sober, curious. You're like, no, I mean, I don't think I have a problem, but maybe my drinking is in what we call a little bit of a gray area, right? Like, sometimes, though, like, it's normally fine, but, man, that one girl's weekend or whatever, right?

Whatever it is for you. So those were painful at the beginning when you're so known for being the party person. I didn't even know how to show up to those things. I mean, and I, in my mind, I was exhausted before I arrived at any event, because I'd already mentally done so many backflips and all that kind of stuff, trying to think of what I was going to say socially when someone offered me a drink and I didn't know how to react and da da da. So the first thing I learned was, never walk into a party without your beverage of choice in your hand.

Have one with you. Walk in with it. Have the caribou. Have. Have your. Your tumbler, your. Your. Your cup of coffee, your. Your diet coke. That's my addiction. Um, have it in your hand, because then when something's in your hand, no one asks you, okay. Um, the other thing is. And the more important thing is, especially in the beginning, you. Maybe this is a hat. This is a behavior you are trying on. This is a hat you're wearing. You don't want to tell everybody yet that you're maybe a little concerned, and you want to.

You want to feel differently. You want to make some changes, but you don't want to make a big announcement. Right? You don't want to make a big deal about it. You don't have to. The biggest thing I've learned is that not everybody deserves your story. And that doesn't matter what. It doesn't matter what you're working on. Not everybody deserves your story. And sometimes we find out later in life, we were telling a lot of people that maybe couldn't appreciate her story or feel for us in the story, and then that, you know, and it can kind of get used against him, which is not fun.

So in those early days, it's easy to just have something in your hand. That's what I found helpful to me. And I. What I did was because I like to accessorize, and I thought, if I'm gonna be sober, I'm gonna. I need accessories, right? I need cool things. So I got, like, a little cool. Oh, thank you, guys. I got a cool little, you know, tote for me to bring to, like, different barbecues and that there are some great non alcoholic options out there. I really like the Laguna hoppy water. That is really refreshing.

It tastes great if you like drinking ipas and a hoppy beer anyway on a sunny day. But maybe you just don't want the alcohol content. They're excellent, and they're. And they're cheap. I mean. I mean, not cheap, but low on calories. They're not exactly cheap anyway. Um, but finding something you like, whatever it is for you, like, if it's a. It's like one of those fancy sodas. You gotta go to a fancy soda place, have your thing. Have whatever it is. That's your little comfort beverage. It's. I call it my emotional support drink.

I'm not kidding. Um, because then it doesn't. Then I don't feel left out. I don't feel like there's something missing. Right. Um, I covered that. Bring a kid. You know, one of the things that's good, too, is to try to, especially when we're just re emerging socially. Right. Find a way to help and connect with everybody at your party. Like, if there's kids, can you help with the kids if they're set up, can you help? Can you. Can you help with teardown? Can you offer to take the pictures for the group?

You know, can you. How can you support who's ever the host or something like that? It really keeps your mind off stuff. And when you have a mission or a project, there's less dilly dally time, because I found that it was painful doing small talk early on. Oh, man. I am. You guys are blowing me away. Thank you so much, Colleen. Thank you. Speak wonder. Thank you, Luke. Thank you, everybody, for the birthday wishes, man. I appreciate it. It's been rough. It was. I. It's weird. This is the, you know, the second birthday.

The second birthday that I have not drank, and it's so weird to, like, have a birthday where people don't drink. Like, it's so, like, what do you do? What do you do? Your birthday night, huh? You know, we went out to a wonderful meal, the boyfriend and I. It was fantastic. Went to Murray's downtown and. Oh, thank you. Jules and I got doggy bags, and we came home and we watched a horror movie, and it was great. So there's that. What other little tips can I give you? Helping is always fun. Have a plan.

But here's the other thing, too, is know when it's time to leave. Set some parameters for yourself. I would. I would. I would suggest early on, test the waters if it's a family event, and maybe some of the family things are, you know, tricky and maybe a little triggery for you plan that there's something else that's going on. You know, like, I can only. I could come for an hour, or I can come at the beginning of it or the end of it or whatever. But if it's gonna be a cocktail party or a drinking party and you're trying to abstain, my recommendation is go at the beginning and be that.

Be that. Be that person who's there early, you know, offer to help. Not too early. You don't want to be rude, but, you know, offer to help. And then when it starts, you know, starts looking a little like the signs are starting to creep out. You're starting to hear your friend's story again. Again. You heard it on the phone earlier that day. You heard it that last week. Now you're hearing the person telling it for the third time at the bonfire. That might be time to grab your cooler and your emotional support beverages and start heading to the door.

I have friends. What I started doing, it's when I'm performing, I'm cool with it now. Like, I just basically just bring, like, water or pop up on stage. But initially, I was so well known for having a glass of wine and always drinking on stage and hanging out and being party girl, because in my family, basically, a lot of. We have a lot of alcoholism in my family. And I don't mean to label people or whatever, but these are, you know, it's just kind of. It's a path we have a lot of people on, essentially, right.

And there's only so many ways you can show up. But I noticed that early on that the party person, the person who likes to always, you know, be out on the dance floor, was the person who was included. And so I kind of adopted that. And so letting go of that was really, really hard in those early days. So when you're thinking about moving in those sobriety spaces, and for me, as a comedian, I didn't want to call attention to it. I was pretty sure I wasn't going to stick with this whole quitting program thing.

Something was going to happen, and it was going to be fine. I'd quit for a little while. I'd realize I was fine, and then I'd get to drink again or something stupid, but. So I would mimic. I would pretend I had a drink. I would get a glass of. I would get a wine glass, and I'd put, you know, like, iced tea in it or something like that. If you're. If you are going to a work party, that's one that's really, really hard, because there's a lot of social pressure to drink. I mean, that should be its own episode, doing sales.

If you're a person who's trying to relax and maybe step back from drinking and you're in the food and beverage industry, all that stuff, man, it's not. It's not easy. So sometimes the best thing is just to not be on people's radar, you know, um. Oh, Jules, it's gonna be. What? Okay, everybody. Jules, it's gonna be your first sober birthday. That's amazing. And it. I mean, I hate to say that, but, man, it's like. And then you think about the other year, you know? Right? And so, yeah, I mean, emotionally, it's been tough this weekend, you know, like, just because you can't help.

I mean, birthdays are a time to go back and reassess. What progress have I made? What have I done? And on one hand, I could not be more proud of myself for, like, grabbing this by the reins. But, like, it didn't really solve any of the problems. I just. I'm just now actually, like, facing them, you know, with a little bit more intelligence, and I'm not. I'm not ostriching from everything all the time, so. Jules. Oh, my God. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if you've got any takeaways or other tips you want to share with that, I mean, it's really.

Whatever works for you. I know that talk therapy is amazing, but it's not accessible for everybody. And so that's what's so great about the Cadre atmosphere, that we can all connect. We can do it in an organic, hopefully, in a real natural way and support. And so I'm not gonna have a super long one today. I'm gonna cut it short, because, actually, the coals are almost ready. We're gonna grill. I don't know if you can see. There it is. Cool. And I'm gonna eat some meat. I'm hungry. Oh, yeah. That was the last thing.

Always go to the party, even though you wanna go to the party and have a lot of food and enjoy and all that stuff, don't go on an empty stomach. I swear to God, if I'm hungry, everything looks. Anything with calories looks good, and I am more likely to slip towards one. And having a craving for sugar, which my brain links with alcohol. So, like, you know, and it's good to have candy or some chocolate or something in your purse, too, so. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much. Hey, happy, happy weekend to everybody.

Thank you so much for allowing me to talk with you guys and connect, and hopefully this helps something. I know it's helping me, so. You guys are the best. Thank you for the birthday wishes. I can't think.