Comedy Through The Chaos

Hello Cadresphere. Welcome to Caregiver Thursdays. I'm Ms. Shannon, happy to be joining you. As you can see, I am on the road again. It's that time of year for me. So I am in the lovely city of Fargo, technically, possibly West Fargo, North Dakota. My friend is cheering on Fargo right there. My friend Diane who is with me as we are catching up here today on Caregiver Thursday. Everybody, I'm Ms. Shannon. Hello, speak wonder. Hello, hello, hello. I'm Ms. Shannon and I am a comedian, corporate speaker, voice actor and a variety of other things.

And I normally hub out of the great state of Minnesota. Today I'm on the road as I said and most of the time I am the mother of an adorable 16 year old kiddo who I call Cyclone kid who happens to also be high sports on the autism spectrum. So we are happy to have this day on Caregivers Caregiver Thursdays where we talk about a variety of things. And I see that my friend Speak Wonder spoke earlier today with their Harbor Pilots message. I saw that my friend Shannon staff was on there. I see. Even then it looks like our friend JC Lippold was on earlier this morning.

So good on you for everybody that's up bright and early. I have not had a chance to partake of their content yet because I was on the road to make it to this event. Our run through starts at 2:30 here Central Time. So I got on the road this morning at around 9:30 and I'm very fortunate as a caregiver to have the backup of my sister Casey, who is the one that hangs out with my son when I'm on the road. And it's interesting because you know, I like to share that, you know, when she first started helping me out with my kiddo, I mean it took time for us both.

It took time for me to be able to provide her with the resources that she needed to be able to sort him, support him appropriately. And also took time for her to really understand what it is and how he kind of moves as a human being in this awkward space. And it took time for him to kind of get used to. Well, sometimes mom has to go do something else and auntie's going to hang out with you and either way you're going to be okay. And like a lot of kids he of course has different things that he decides to test as far as boundaries go.

There's different things that he does with me than he does with my sister and, and that's all great. And then we've also had to figure out how she and I can maintain our relationship. Because now he kind of got used to one or one of us being in the space at a time. So even though we would sometimes hang out together as a whole family unit with me and my sister and my son, or sometimes my sister would come over not to watch my son, but to hang out with me because I'm an adult and I should be able to have people that I hang out with, and she's one of the people I hang out with.

And there was a while there where anytime she was over for too long and we were both in the space, he would say goodbye and he would tell her to go by and try and kick her out of the house. And part of that is you do it with a smile and tongue in cheek, because he's 16 and he likes pushing people around. But part of that was also us figuring out how he could still get those individual doses of attention. I should stop touching my hair and just make it worse. So he would. He needed those individual doses of attention from each of us.

Because, of course, he was accustomed to. Either it was him and mom or it was him and Auntie. And so if Auntie and Mom were the ones that were fueling one another and not fueling him, then of course he had a sense of loss with that whole situation. But that doesn't mean that she and I shouldn't be able to have lunch together on a Saturday afternoon when neither of us have to work. And he's home, too. And so trying to figure out a way where he still understood that he was important and part of the conversation.

And if these two women are talking, it doesn't mean that he can't figure out an appropriate way to be involved in the situation and to make it so that he didn't feel that we were taking anything away from him and then still be able to fuel one another. And that was something that not only did we have to work at, I actually had to talk to one of his behaviorists about that, about, well, what is it about this that's bugging him? Like, why does he feel this sense? And how can we work through it? Because she and I both deserve that time in communion with one another as well.

And there's not going to be a situation where she and I right now can hang out with each other where he's not involved, because I'm in the process of hiring more caregivers and just haven't completely made that transition to the point that anybody else who might help out and watch him or caretake for him or caregiver for him. Another PCA would work in tandem with me or in tandem with my sister. They wouldn't necessarily, at this point in our evolution, be the one where we said, okay, hang out with whoever this person is.

Mom and Auntie will be back. And, you know, as he continues to evolve in this journey, that's something that we're looking forward to so that we can go and do things together, but we're not there yet. And so it took a while, you know, it took a minute and it took practice, and it actually took having a conversation with other people in his care team to go, okay, well, what are we missing and how can we actually address this? And so I wanted to share that with you so that you know that the journeys change often along the road.

And just because things got complicated for us for a minute there, doesn't mean that it's not going to get better along the road. And I also want to give it to you as a moment of additional joy, because as I said, my friend Diane and I got on the road this morning. We just got into town, and the first thing that happened as we were getting ready to check into the hotel is my phone rings and it's my sister. And she starts saying, here, say it again. And she holds the phone up to my kiddo so that he can say some words that are not quite something that you would expect them to be talking about so that I, as super mom, can translate.

So she needed me to tell her that he was asking about a Lego ship, preferably one that is blue. And so I had to tell her that he was saying blue Lego ship, which of course you need to ask, because why would you think that he was asking for a blue Lego ship is solely out of context. So if you need a few moments to take some out of context things in your life and use some assistance to make that lifeline, to call in somebody else to look for an expert that might be in your group, to talk to somebody that might be in your personal circle that can help you translate some of these things, it is okay to go ahead and reach out for that lifeline.

Sometimes, even if you're like, hey, am I the only one going through this? If you want to go ahead and drop that chat in the chat here on Cadre, maybe there's somebody else that we're like, hey, I've been through that. Here's how I weathered that particular journey, or I'm going through that right now. Here's what I'm doing. What's working for you. That's one of the things that we love to do here in Cadre is provide different resources and to provide different experiences for everybody and let you know that your experience, although it's individual, does not mean that it is so isolated.

It's probably something that we are going through some version or variety of that ourselves as well. So we do hope that you continue to join us here in the Cadre sphere, and we do hope that we continue to be a resource for you, regardless of what it is that you're interested in talking about. It's so funny. I'm looking around because I really thought I was riding into a place where they have rodeos, and maybe they do have rodeos here, but tonight is a gala, so we'll see how that works out tonight.

So congratulations on meeting us here in the Cadre Sphere. Congratulations on wherever you are in your journey. We hope that you find a moment to find some comedy in the midst of all of that chaos and continue to grow as a human being, and specifically as a human being that may be providing a great resource as a caregiver for someone else in your circle. So if there's something you'd love for us to talk about here in the Cadre sphere, please let us know. We are always open to having more information and feedback on what it is that we can do as we provide resources for all of you.

So thanks for joining me for this Thursday. Be kind to yourselves and we will see you back here next week.