Evan, Cadre's Addiction and Mental Health Therapist shares a clip of the interview with his mom who has over 15 years of experience working with families with addicted loved ones. In this clip she shares her favorite writings that inspired her most.
In all your years of experience helping families with addiction, what's the one thing you learned that's helped you most? It's called letting grow and letting go. Letting grow is allowing others to have a bad experience so they can learn from it.
So in all your years of experience helping families with addiction, what's the one thing you learned that's helped you most? So my first time coming into meetings, somebody handed me a piece of literature that just completely blew me out of the water. It's called letting grow and letting go. Letting grow is allowing others to have a bad experience so they can learn from it. Letting grow is reframing from negative comments even when I see a mistake being made. Letting grow is listening more than reacting.
Letting grow is withholding my advice and my opinions. Letting grow is permitting the other person to identify his own problems. Letting grow is giving the other person the dignity of finding his own solutions. Letting grow is refusing to be another person's safety net so they can learn to weave their own. Letting grow is choosing not to manipulate the outcome for somebody else. Letting grow is refusing to be drawn into another person's problems by anger, by guilt, manipulation, or any other ruse.
Letting grow is allowing the other person to have some discomfort. Letting grow is learning new skills and vocabulary to be practiced again and again. Letting grow is a loving decision to be made thousands of times a week over. Letting grow will never be finished. Letting go. Letting go does not mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for somebody else. Letting go is not to cut myself out. It's the realization I can't control another. Letting go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
Letting go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. Letting go is not to try to change or to blame another. It's to make the most of myself. Letting go is not to care for, but to care about. Letting go is not to fix but to be supportive. Letting go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. Letting go is not to be in the middle arranging the outcome, but allowing others to affect their own destinies. Letting go is not to be protective is to permit another to face reality.
Letting go is not to deny, but to accept. Letting go is not to nag, to scold, or to argue, but instead to search out and correct my own shortcomings. Letting go is not to adjust everything to my own desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it. Letting go is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be. Letting go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. Letting go is to fear less and live more. Wow, that's powerful.
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