Harbor Pilots

Hello, Cadre. How's everything shaking? I'm Kathy Joy, and I go by Speak Wonder on the Cadre. I like to show up on Thursdays, and you're so generous to join me. This is caregiver day, and within that framework, I would like to share with you some ideas in case you ever have a notion to send an encouragement card or a letter or a small note to someone. And the reason this came up. Hey, Jules has joined. Hello. Hi, Shelly from Canada. I wanted to share this with you because a few weeks back, Luke asked us to consider what our intentions might be for 2025.

Was there something we wanted to do? Not necessarily a resolution or something we had to achieve, or it could be, but he mainly wanted to know what's on your heart. What would you like to do that you haven't been doing? And immediately it came to mind that I would love to develop and maintain the discipline and actually the joy and blessing of sending an encouragement once a week out in the US Mail, something that I wrote with my own handwriting, with my own pen on paper and a stamp, the whole thing.

S. mail. S. mail. And Luke responded right away. He said, hey, that means one encouragement letter once a week. That's 52 letters you'll be mailing out in 2025. And all of us on that live promised each other we would stay accountable and report from time to time how things are going. This week was the very last Monday of December, and I decided to give it a jump start. And I wrote an encouraging letter to a couple that had been strangers until we met in the airport when I was traveling to Denver at Thanksgiving.

We stranded because of bad weather. So we were stranded overnight where we were supposed to connect, which was Charlotte, North Carolina, and we had to stay in the terminal all night. We were so scared we'd miss our connecting flight early the next morning that we decided to stay awake. We found some rocking chairs that the, you know, the airport provided really pretty white rockers and sat there, this couple, Marilyn and Tim and I, and we visited. Oh, don't tell me, where's my little document? And we had the loveliest time.

Well, when it was time to connect to our place, they were going to Naples, Florida, and I was going to Denver, Colorado. She said, why don't we exchange addresses? This is an older couple. They don't say, what's your information? Can I DM you? They said, what's your address? So we exchanged addresses on little scraps of napkins that we've gotten at Starbucks, and we Went on our way. When I got home from that vacation, there was a letter from Marilyn saying how wonderful it was to meet me, how it was great to keep each other awake and have great conversation.

Something that was unexpected. Now I guess we're going to be pen pals because I wrote back to them this past Monday. And I just. I just love knowing that that's going to hit their mailbox soon, if it hasn't already. Encouraging words are such a blessing and a boon, Jules. My mom used to send a postcard every week when I was at college. You know what? My mom did something like that, too. Sometimes it was a postcard, so sometimes it was a, you know, regular letter on, like, notebook paper. I loved it.

You know, I do remember that. I remember checking my mailbox. We only got mail once a day when I went to college, but I checked my box several times. Think about it. When you send a note in your own handwriting of encouragement, you're not the bill collector or the solicitor or the ads promotion or the survey. You are the high touch in a world that's inundated with things we don't really want in our mailbox. So I suggest to you, you can join me in this journey, but you don't have to do it once a week, just whenever it comes to mind.

And you'll be surprised and amazed how much gratitude hits your own heart when you do this for someone else. I thought I'd start by listing what an encouraging letter is. Not five things that is not. And then five things it is. And then a few things that you shouldn't expect. Okay, so it is not all confetti and glitter. I wanted to get this down so I'd remember to say these things to you today. You know, JC is probably the most skilled at this, but he'll often come on in the stream and say, I hope you're having a great day, but if you're not, that's okay, too.

He validates us in the space in which we're in. And it's not all confetti and light and glitter. So your note can acknowledge where somebody is in their season of life. And it's kind of like an I see you, I know you, I'm thinking of you type of thing. Glitter is nice too, though. Having said that, at Christmas, I got a card from a friend who lives a couple states away. I opened the card and all this glitter fell out on my carpet. And, you know, I was delighted. I'm like, I guess eventually I'll have to vacuum this, but it was metallic, Tiny, tiny, little glitter.

Little Christmas trees and little stars and little angels, little reindeer. And that was quite the surprise. Loved it. What an encouraging letter. Is not. Not all confetti. It's not long. Brevity is a good idea here. Hey, anybody else besides Jules have a recollection of getting real notes in the mail? Can you share that in the conversation? I'd love to see that. So brevity is a soul of wit. You've heard that quote an author friend of mine shared during a writer's conference, that one of her shortest notes was also the one that carried the most impact to her parents.

As a matter of fact, she had been a college student at the time they came to see her. It might have been homecoming weekend. They just. They came to visit her, and it was such a blessing to her heart that her folks came and they had such a great time that she followed that visit up the following week with a little note card, blank. And on the front, she wrote we three. And she's a bit of an artist, so she drew herself and her mom and dad. And you open it up and it says, we like wee. You know, like you're going down a slide.

We three. So essentially, her note had four words, we three and we three. And they loved it because she kind of capsulized the nugget and the joy of that weekend in very few words. So it's not all confetti. It's not long, and it's not about you. The main subject of your card or your letter is your recipient. It's also not generic, so be specific to the individual. If you're stuck on what to say, think about that person's affirmations. Does he have the coolest laugh? You could say that. I love to hear your laughter in the world.

It's so great when you laugh. Are they going through a tough time? You know, when you think of your person who you're going to bless with a note, you will immediately be informed of what they need. And if you need inspiration, you can do like I do. I like to go and get blank cards. Now, this particular one isn't that gorgeous? I also love the size, so there's nothing in it. It's blank. The picture reminds me of Presque Isle or what we call the Peninsula by, like, by Lake Erie, where I live in Pennsylvania.

There's a number of things you could say. It doesn't have to correspond to the picture, but you have this lovely blank space in which to write your note. I saw this card also Blank inside. It does say let it snow on the outside. Do you have a person who loves owls? And this card. Oh, beautiful card trees. And blank inside. This one kind of sang out to me. This actually came in a promotional piece. It's our local symphony asking for money to keep them afloat in the coming year. So I took this from the flyer and I thought, wouldn't that be fun to tape that onto some stationery and then write a little note.

The conductor's just, you know, you can almost hear the music. And the conductor is very enthusiastic. Spell check, Shannon. Hi, Shannon. So we all have memories, I think, of getting things in the mail and it's becoming kind of a lost art. Can we, can we just agree on that? With all the technology we have in the instant messaging and emails, getting something in the US mail is becoming less and less of an experience that, that maybe you crave. If all else fails, when you're thinking of your person and what to write to them, think of what you'd like to get in the mail.

You know, they say when you go shopping for a gift for somebody, the best gift you can possibly purchase is something that sings to you, that you love. You just love it. You'd love to have it for yourself. It's not always the case across the board. Depending on who you're buying for, however, you're probably going to knock one out of the park if you get something that you yourself would like to have. So think of a message you'd like to get in the mail and what that might mean to you and then pin that in your words to someone else.

So it's not confetti. It's not long, it's not about you, and it's not generic. It's specific to that individual. Fifth thing is not necessarily signed. Now tread with caution here. And we do live in a day and age where you've got hackers and spam and people are kind of hyper vigilant. So if your person would rather see who sent the letter, definitely sign it. Chances are very good that he or she will recognize your handwriting. And chances are also pretty high that you're going to put some sort of return address on there so they'll figure it out.

But unsigned is kind of a mystery. It's kind of fun to send something so called anonymously. Here's what an encouraging letter is. Five things. A simple affirmation. It's self care for you. It is the beauty and uniqueness of your own handwriting or printing, as the case may be. It's A tether. I call it a tether, a rope, a fastener. The note says I'm connected to you and you're connected to me. And number five, it's a personal touch in a high tech world. So it is a simple affirmation. And like I mentioned, you could think about an attribute of that person.

You know, do. Do they make you feel encouraged? Do they show up in your life in meaningful ways? Say that. Share a memory. Some things when you're thinking of encouraging are going to be obvious. Excuse me. If your person is grieving, by all means send a condolence card. We do travel in seasons. Are they a busy young mom? Think of something encouraging to say about that, especially if you're further down the road and your kids are bigger and you live to tell it. If you've lived past potty training, you can say you will survive this simple affirmations.

It's also self care for you. Why do I say that? Because once you send something out, you have done an amazing thing for your own heart and soul. You have declared something as an act of kindness and generosity. That's going to bless your heart too. It really will come echoing back to you. The uniqueness of your own handwriting. Quick story here. I was at another writers conference years ago and one of the attendees mentioned how her mom had passed away and her brother showed up at the door one day months later with a box of mementos.

But what was key was her mother's recipes. And she was thrilled because they were all in her mother's handwriting. They weren't typed or all in her mom's handwriting. And it just brought back a flood of memories of learning to cook and bake with her mom. In fact, some of the little cards were stained with oil and Crisco and all the things when they've been through the war zone, in the baking, in the kitchen. But in her mom's handwriting was a treasure. Your handwriting is treasured and it's unique to you.

It's a fastener, it's a tether. It says I'm connected. We're connected in a meaningful way and it is a personal touch in a very high tech world. We have instant messaging. We have everything at our fingertips. That's why it's unique and wonderful to send and to receive something handwritten in the mail. So here's what not to don't expect a return letter or note or maybe even a phone call. Perhaps no reciprocation at all. Don't place that expectation on your recipient or your person. Why because sometimes when it hits, when they open that up, they just want to experience that and revel in it and be grateful that you thought of them.

And it may just take a while for you to get any kind of response at all. Don't place an expectation there. It's not that they're not grateful. Why do I know this? Because when I was a college student, I didn't write back to mom a whole lot. I was busy, I was attending classes, I was trying to pass my courses. But her letters were a lifeline and I loved him. I don't think I told her enough. Also, while you're not expecting a return note, also don't expect understanding from your high tech friends.

There will be people just kind of shaking their head and saying, why would you, why would you buy a stamp? They're over 70 cents now. Oh, why would you try and find a piece of paper when you can sit down at your laptop and zip off an email? Why would you write to an individual person when you could have several recipients? Well, that is so true for so many things, especially in the business world and in the regular world. I love receiving personal emails, absolutely adore it, and I send them. This is unique and just has some value when you write it yourself and drop it in the mail.

So don't expect a lot of understanding, just do what you're doing. As a matter of fact, here's another consideration I would suggest that you consider not telling anybody. Just let it be your little sweet secret. I love sending a card and you know, why should I tell someone? It's really not necessary. The satisfaction is that I did it and that honored the that person in a special way. I don't have to announce it, so don't tell anyone. Particularly if you end up talking to that individual on the phone.

Maybe it's a family member. Don't say, hey, I sent you something. Let it be a sweet secret. And you have sent this out into the universe and it's going to land in the rich and fertile soil of somebody's aching weary heart. That's pretty special. So that's what I have for you today, the art of an encouraging note or letter. I invite you to, you know, find something to write on, write down a few words and put them in the mail. My plan is to do this once a week, usually on Monday morning. And so around Sunday afternoon, Sunday evening, I start thinking, who needs encouragement?

And invariably a face will come to mind and then that person will receive a note. Don't forget the stickers. I love Stickers. I love putting stickers on. And that's probably a real giveaway when somebody gets something from me is, oh, there's Kathy and her stickers. So, you know, reaching out to my. My Cadre symbolism of harbor pilots. This is a way that you can sail on out to someone who's drifting a little, who's struggling, who's maybe navigating some difficult waters in their boat, and you'll just take your boat out to them, climb up onto their boat and say, hey, move over.

Let me drive for a while. I'm here with you. I'm here for you. I want to see you get into safe harbor, and here's how. And one of the ways I'd like to do that is to acknowledge who you are in my life and why I treasure you. And don't forget the sticker. Next week on the Cadre, on caregiver day next Thursday, I invite you to join me for some haiku writing. Yeah. Bring your pen and your notebook and we're going to write a haiku. Five syllables, seven syllables. Five syllables. Synchronizing your words into something brief and meaningful.

It'll be fun. 3:00 today is Ms. Shannon Paul. 3:00 my time. Eastern Standard Comedy. Through the chaos, Virginia says, so grateful for this live. I've bought some crafting items from Michael's because I've been wanting to give things a bit more personal. Yeah, I just haven't been able. I've been inspired as I've been busy. Yeah, you know, I get you. I see you. Busy is often what sidetracks me. I'll think, oh, I just don't have time to sit down and do this. But it's amazing how you don't want to be hasty or careless, but it's.

It's amazing how little time it takes to invest in a relationship. You know, I've been known to write on, like, a shopping list, memo paddle, write a note, stick it in the mail, because that's all that was available to me. And when I was working, that was my break. You know, I had like a half hour break. And then that might have been the time when I could find a piece of paper and write something and send it in. So that's my encouragement to you today. Think of someone. They'll come onto your radar.

They might be already prominent in your head and mind, your head and your heart. And, you know, do like Virginia and, you know, get some crafty things and have fun and put stickers on you. Express yourself in your own voice because that also is a blessing. So I will see you next week. And I'll have another scarf on. This is my little owl scarf. And we're getting snow right now, lots of it. I think we have a foot right now outside my door. And the plow just came through. No doubt plowed in my car.

But that's okay. I can handle that. I've got good tires and I have winter driving experience. So thank you for coming on to this live. I really appreciate your company. And I'll see you next week. Bye for now.