Coffee Chats w/ Dr. D

Hello, Cadre. It's me, Dr. D. I am in my car today because I'm on single mom duty. So for those of you who don't know, I am a licensed clinical professional counselor in Illinois and Missouri, and I'm also a heart mom, so I have a son who's now an adult. But I'm still on do lose connection. Please forgive me, but we'll just keep it moving. But, yeah, Got my coffee. Y'all let me know. What are you drinking today? Earlier today, I made a. It was like a honey latte. It was really frothy, and it was so good.

So I am still sipping on that. But there's a couple things I want to talk about today, and it's. It's all about connection. And this is just something I've been reflecting on this week because I've just been really impressed and really encouraged by how people are coming together to help the families that have lost their homes and lost everything, lost community, because of the fires that were in California. And I know there was a fire, I believe, in the Bronx as well. And this past week, there's just been a lot popping off.

Like, there's been, you know, winter storms here. So I'm in the Midwest. I'm near the St. Louis area, and we had a huge winter storm last week, and we had a snowstorm that happened twice. So there was one big snowstorm where people were stuck in their homes for maybe a day or two, couldn't get out of their communities because, you know, it was just so much snow, and there was ice and sleet, and the temperatures are really cold. And so it started to melt one day. And then a couple of days later, we had another snowstorm.

So on top of all that, we've got piles of snow everywhere. I mean, I'm in this. The mall parking lot, and I don't know if you. If you'll be able to see it. Probably not, but there's a big pile of snow right next to me in the parking lot. So it's just. It's crazy everywhere right now. But I have just been so impressed just watching not just celebrities, but people that I know that live in California that are coming together to support those families, to give whatever needs to be given, and just the outpouring of community for that community.

And I think that is just something that, you know, when we're in times of trouble, we don't always think, who's there. We don't always maybe even expect people to show up for us. But the need is still there. The need for connection is there, and I think the need for support is there. And a lot of people struggle to ask for help. I'm one of those people. I struggle with asking for help because I have this. This internal belief that I should be able to do it by myself, I should be independent. And sometimes my independence can get in the way.

And so your question for today is about connection and what gets in the way of you connecting. So I work with a lot of single moms, I work with women, and a lot of people that I just talk to on a regular basis always share with me that they don't have a lot of friends. They want to connect, but they don't know how to do it, especially as an adult, what that looks like. And it's tricky to navigate new connections. Maybe you've had some relationship trauma, friendship trauma, family trauma that prevents you from connecting.

So what is it that keeps you disconnected and preventing yourself from getting connection? And I share personally one of my things that gets in the way sometimes of connecting. Not that I don't have healthy relationships, but there are times when I need connection. And what gets in the way for me is I don't like to ask for help. So I just imagine what would happen if I did ask for help when I needed it. I would be able to open the door for connection.