Comedy Through The Chaos

Hello and happy Thursday Cadre friends. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to our comedy through the chaos this Thursday we are in April and I am so glad that I'm able to join you everybody. If you are joining me for the first time, I am Ms. Shannon Paul. I'm a comedian, corporate speaker, voice actor, event MC and benefit auctioneer that hubs out of the great state of Minnesota. Hello, Faith Hunter, thanks for joining me today. Hello. Good to see you in the live stream. I was just giving a little background to who I am and explaining who Ms.

Shannon the human being is with the first stuff that usually if you're like, hey, if you go to my LinkedIn profile, here's what you'll see. But in addition to all of those LinkedIn type things. Hi Speak Wonder. Good to see you. In addition to that, I also happen to be the very proud mother of an adorable 17 year old boy who happens to be high supports on the autism spectrum. So happy since we're in April, Autism acceptance month. I appreciate all of you. Right before I came out to talk to all of you, I was inside, there's a Starbucks behind me.

I was inside the Starbucks and I was speaking with some members from an organization we have here in Minnesota called Opportunity Partners. And Opportunity Partners is wonderful. They have a variety of day programs for our adults with a variety of developmental disabilities. They also have some work study programs that they work with and those things. And I remember years ago hearing about Opportunity Partners and a couple of other organization here in town and going it gave me a goal, it gave me a goal as a parent to go, well, I want my kid when he's in his 20s and on to be able to have, I call it a hobby job.

A hobby job to have his friends, to have his community, to be able to do that. And so a lot of what I have been doing as a parent is helping prepare him for that. Not preparing because he has to be able to have a job. Thank goodness. Because that's what he's going to need for self sufficiency, but because I know that it's important to him for him to be able to have a community. And I am, you know, yeah, I mean right now I'm still my kiddo's best friend, don't get me wrong. But he needs to be able to do other stuff as well.

Hello mdin, thank you very much for joining us today. And so I think that's a different and a difficult conversation that we have sometimes as caregivers is preparing for the future and it puts you in that space of being grateful for where you are right now, but also giving yourself the ability to go, well, here are the hopes and dreams that I have for the person that I care for, for their future. And that has to look different for all of us. But sometimes I really wonder if we get stuck in the world of not wanting to dream and not wanting to plan, because if it doesn't work out, then we'll have this sense of loss getting so accustomed to doing the day to day that we forget that there might be something else that we could achieve as well.

And personally, I have to catch myself all the time with that going like, no, like when, you know, when I am looking for, well, what does the future look like? As much as I don't have a crystal ball where I can't sit there and say, here's what it's going to do. For sure, I do have the ability to go, but how can I help set us up for success? And what can I do to make it so that we can have space to enjoy our days and our future days as much as possible? So lately I've been talking about like milestones and how milestones can help you really look at what you have achieved and how you can really add up those little milestones to go, Wow, I really have done a lot.

So here's the one that I was thinking about today. So next week I am going on a business trip and this was a business trip that I took the same time last year, but this was right after the transition of my son being with me full time had happened. So reality is I didn't have as much time to prepare for this business trip as I would have liked. It was already on the calendar. I just kind of needed to figure it out. I felt like I was just rushing into it and just needed to get it done. And my sister did a great job.

Thank you. Yeah. MD just said preparing children for the future is hard but important conversations to have. Yes, thank you very much. I agree with you, Maryland. It is. And being able to have that conversation in a way that is appropriate for them. And I don't want to use the word age appropriate, but appropriate wherever they are in the spot you know, to go. Here's why these things are of value. And then I'll get back to what I'm preparing for for next week. For me, a lot of it is going all right based upon the information I have right now.

How can I frame this in a way that is most appropriate for what you can receive right now? And Being able to change those things so that we're doing it from a position of here's what we can strive for and what can make our lives better versus having to have these conversations from a position of fear and lack. And that's difficult, especially in a variety of different communities that I think as caregivers we navigate as well. You know, like making decisions where I'm like, here's how I can help my son have a safer future.

But not making it from a position of oh, if I don't teach him how to do this, then he's going to be continually in danger. And so that's a fine line that I know personally as a mother, I'm always on that how do I stay this and how do I stay on this path and still manage to sit there and go, well, here's the best case scenario and work on that as well. Which is what I'm trying to do for next week. So the way my high functioning anxiety works, there are lots of things that I could just be up all night so worried that my son is going to have a very difficult time, my sister's going to have a very difficult time.

And I'm trying to not infuse that energy into our home. I am trying to instead infuse our house with positivity. And so for me personally that means doing some of the pre work that will make it better for next week, like handling the things that I can handle, making space. So today's agenda, along with some work things in this meeting that I just had with our lovely friends from Opportunity Partners also included dropping off some donations of some items at my local thrift store and donating them so I can make space in the house, in the car for me, all these things.

Something else I don't have to do when I get back. The other thing that I did is I have mentioned my son's great love for Trader Joe's pancakes. So M. Dean, since you were kind of new to this, my kiddo, he can crush some Trader Joe's pancakes. They have these gluten free, dairy free pancakes that he has recently been very attached to. And I don't know if you guys have hung out with 17 year old boys who are on the robust side. As I will describe my son, he can go through a whole box of these in a sitting if left to his own devices.

I try and slow him down. I'm like, are you really hungry? Are you just eating so fast? Because it feels good to eat these pancakes, I'm sure. So give It a minute. Let's see what your stomach actually thinks. So the thing about Trader Joe's, when I'm out of town, I can have most of the groceries that he likes. I can have those sent. So if my sister pinged me and said, hey, we ran out of X, Y or Z, then I could at that time have those, you know, go on, go online real quick, have that stuff sent to the house.

I could do that. Trader Joe's is one of the exceptions. So what I did today in preparation of next week is I went to Trader Joe's and I did a mental calculation as a mom, and I planned ahead for 1 1/2 boxes of Trader Joe's pancakes per day that I am out of town. So I. That is 1 1/2 boxes of Trader Joe's pancakes. Because I would prefer that when I'm out of town, he does not end up looping on Trader Joe's pancakes with my sister, who's doing the Lord's work by helping me and watching it while I am traveling for work.

So there were quite a lot of Trader Joe's pancakes that I got. And I also bought some of his favorite, you know, toys and some other stuff just so we can have some surprises. And they're not for today. I'm going to leave those in a bag somewhere in the house so that again, my sister has something to do, you know, while I'm out of town. She can go, hey, look. Look at this amazing thing. We get to look at, you know, something shiny over here. And being able to go through that process is easing my caregiver anxiety.

Still giving myself grace to know that things are not going to be perfect, but trying to go, well, you did what you can to make it easy on both of them, and hopefully it works. You know, that's. That's where I'm at. And if not, it'll be a good learning experience. The other thing that I can say year over year that I was able to do is I have been able to find some additional backup support as well. When before I, you know, it was pretty much just, okay, I gotta go and can you handle this? And let's get it done this year.

I already have, you know, backup PCAs that are going to be coming in and giving her breaks over the three days that I'm gone. And that's making me feel a lot better too, knowing that it's not just okay, her doing this in isolation, that there's other people who have had the opportunity to get to know him over the year and that are going to be able to pop in and go, hey, I'm here to hang out with you too. So if you have the ability to do that, to do some of the prep work, if you have something big that's coming up.

Also reminding yourself that sometimes it's a year over year change. It doesn't always happen as a week over week change and going. I understand that that might work for some families, that some of the care that we're giving might adult adapt and change more rapidly than for some of us. But you're still doing a great job and do that as well. C. i'm gonna see how everything is going and hopefully continue to hold space for all of our caregivers out there. Regardless of who it is that you give care for.

Just remembering to hold space for one another because it's important that we get to do this. Remembering that there's ways that we can go ahead and touch base and give yourself a little bit more freedom to extend that tether because you are going to continue to be tethered to whoever it is you choose to give care for. But you still need space for yourself. A reminder that I like to say out loud here in the Cadre sphere because it's not only for you, it's for me too. Giving myself space, allowing myself room for growth, giving myself pats on the back.

Sometimes you got to pat your own back. Like you know, if a stranger was kissing your b*** about something, you need to do that to yourself. So I encourage you to do that as well. And if there's anything that we can continue to share here in the cadres here for you, please let us know. You can always put that information in the chat. Hey, Nick the poet. Good to see you in the chat. Always reminding you that that's how we roll here in the Cadre sphere. We are a community that is continuing to grow and we're trying to make sure that the way that we communic this space is open and honest and authentic.

So that means that it has a lot of malleability. So if you need certain things shared with you in a certain way, if there's something that you know as a a caregiver, it would be of value for us to go ahead and share with you always, like drop us a comment, you know, if you're watching us in the replay, let us know. Hey, Eerie, Pennsylvania. I always forget that you're in Eerie. Speak Wonder. Speak Wonder. I thought you would appreciate this. The folks in my meeting know Kiddo likes it when I come home with snacks.

So they got him some cake pops. So I'mma get to be winning at mom winning that mom game today. Cuz not only when I pick him up at school, he will have that as well, so. Oh, I will check that back. Maya Angelou. Love that. Here, you'll appreciate this. Then it's going to be backwards, but I'll do it. So Speak Wonder just mentioned that she quoted some Maya Angelou poets. So I'm in my car, Speak Wonder. And this is what I see every day. That is our friend Maya. And this one says, if you're always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you could be.

That's what it says. If you're always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be. From the wonderful and beautiful Maya Angelou. I live by that. Normal in my esteem is overrated. I have never tried to be normal. That is not it. But I will work towards amazing. I am not gonna work towards normal. I also work towards interesting. You know, I'm not trying to be normal or cool, but I will be interesting and potentially amazing. And so that is what a lot of the contributors here will do.

So I am going to take these cake pops to go and pick up my kiddo at school. C. and I'm doing my best to infuse our house with positivity. And that works. So everyone, I appreciate all of you. I will go back and check out Speak Wonder in the replay. I can't wait to see what Maya Angelou you quoted. I'm sure it also is going to be amazing because I trust you. I trust you. So everyone please enjoy the rest of your day and I will see you back here soon for comedy through the Chaos next Thursday.